Story of Motherhood: A Sparrow and her four Babies.

Many of you must have followed the pictures that I posted on Facebook a few days back. It was the day when these four little sparrows hatched out from the eggs. Honestly, I wouldn't have allowed the bird's nest in my porch, but unfortunately before I spotted the nest, the eggs were already laid and I had no option but to watch the birds grow and wait until they leave their nest. Quite interestingly, these nests are made in the corner, away from the predator's eye. No wonder, I failed to notice it. From what I have read, it's made by the worker/male birds and is a way to attract the female bird. Better the nest, more chances of gaining female attention. Smart, Isn't it?

So, yes, intially I was little upset about the whole nest thing. The birds were making the porch quite dirty. Plus there were other potential nest makers who hovered around to make another one close to it. I had to keep an eye before they got successful yet again. Yes, sadly I was super uncooperative to them.

But, during this entire process, I got a chance to closely observe the relationship between the mother, father and the baby birds. That was really interesting. I realized, Parents and especially Mothers, be it of an animal, bird or human, are all the same. They have the same motive. Providing love, safety, growth, security, provision, nurturing, satisfaction and compassion to their offspring. The mother sparrow was always bustling for her food, foraging for her nests, and gathering for her young. Every 15-30 min she would come to feed them, everyday for 11 days, until they were old enough to leave the nest and be on the ground, making their first bold steps away from home. During this growing up process, it appeared, one of them had a delayed development as the rest three flew away leaving one behind. Puneet and I assumed that the mother sparrow had abandoned this fourth one and soon it would die. Little did we know, the mother kept on providing this one for 2 additional days, when ultimately it flew. It made us so happy. This is Motherhood. Taking care of all the offspring irrespective of how fast and slow each one grows. The love for all remains the same. The motive for all remains the same.

Day 1

Day 7

 

Day 11, last feed by the mother to three of her fledgelings. One was left behind for 2 additional days.

No matter the spot, no matter the gift, no matter the day… let’s honor mothers from all walks of life -and all sides of nature- for the love they give, the nurturing they offer and for encouraging us to fly when our own wings were so small and unsure! 

Cheers to all Mothers out there! Happy Mother's day to you all! Have an enjoyable weekend. A special shout out to my mother and my mother-in-law. I love you both.

A Little Girl and Her Wardrobe (Drama)...

Photo credit: Pottery Barn Kids Dress Up Tower

When a woman finds out she's having a baby girl, she envisions a wardrobe full of pretty dresses, bows and sandals. Enters into a dream world where she would dress up her daughter like her own personal baby doll and in real world she does manage to do that for the first three years of her life. And then one day: Boom!! With no warning, the baby girl suddenly has an opinion. An opinion that usually involves a full pant with monster t-shirt, or a superhero t shirt.

"You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts", rightly said by Khalil Gibran. Also, you can't pick out their clothes once they decide pink skirt with flower t shirt aren't the style statement they want to make.

Everyday, I take out 2 wardrobe options for Aanya and look at Puneet as if I am going in for a battle. He looks back at me as if he wants to tell me I am the bravest woman he'd ever met. Most of the days, with some changes Aanya will wear one of them. But then, there are days when all my choices are dismissed with bold: NOT ANY OF THESE. She tells me " Mumma, I don't like all these everytime". So, I give up. And ask her to go look in the closet and pick one outfit for herself. I am done with these everyday tiffs and it doesn't matter to me whatever she chooses to wear. That's untrue actually. I sure want her to wear certain outfits which look girly. Our mornings were filled with wardrobe drama and I needed to come up with a better solution.

Oh! I did come up with one. I asked Aanya recently to pick out her own clothes the night before. And if she's unable to decide, then she will have to wear whatever I picked out with no argument. And guess what! our new system isn't much less painful. It just takes place at 7 PM, instead of 8 AM...Boo hoo hoo.

It makes me sad at times thinking that Aanya is just 4. When I think of how many years of this we have ahead of us, it makes me want her school to have a uniform. Just like how my school was when I was young. And we haven't reached the age where she's conscious of brands. I can see those years will be horrendous...a treasure actually.

What I am realizing slowly, that even if its important to me that Aanya look cute, it's not about me.
In life, it doesn't really matter. Yes, the clothes have to be appropriate but if Aanya wants to look like superhero or a monster then it's not worth the fight. I don't want to spend these years battling over stupid princess dress, or two ponytails or simply that t shirts doesn't match with the shorts.
I want to spend these years with a focus on shaping Aanya's heart, not her closet. I want her to be the best version of who God has created her to be. I want her to be kind, loving, gentle and enjoying every morning and the day that follows. I want her to know it is who she is inside that makes her unique and not the Disney dress.

P.S: Mothers of boys, you sure are lucky here! I remember doing outfit shopping for kids (sans kids) with my sister-in-law (who has 2 boys) and what confidently she shopped without giving a second thought. I, on the other hand barely shopped. Yes, barely.

A Little Color Inspiration...

Looking for color inspiration? You are not alone. I do it all the time. Though, following color trends every season is not my style, I do however, like to do little cosmetic changes every now and then, that transforms the space or rather give it a new life. I love bold and bright colors all round the year. Pink( as in fuschia), lime, orange, blue and red are surely among them.
So, today morning, I was in Lowes and stopped to admire a painting whose colors comprised of shades of peacock blue, when I saw a magazine that caught my attention- "COLOR made easy"

And as I was turning the pages, I liked how just a flower vase and flowers can transform any space. Neutral colored space with bright flowers. I managed to take a few pictures from the old fashioned cellphone that I carry (Ha! Ha!) and clearly I loved this current issue of COLOR made easy.

What beautiful combination of Lime, Fuscia and Yellow

Lime, Fuscia and Purple. The blue artwork behind looks amazing!

Combination of Sky Blue and Magenta

Turquoise flower vase and Magenta flowers

So, if you see something like these in my home, you know where I got inspired from....
Have a great week ahead! Goodnight everyone!

Potty Training an infant or a young toddler: My approach...

 Aanya was completely diaper free by 18 months. She was poop trained by the time she was a year old and pee trained by the time she was18 months old. It often surprises parents when I say this. Her teachers at daycare were amazed when I sent her there without a diaper/s. Infact, just yesterday someone asked me how I trained her. So here it is- my approach to potty training, some simple beliefs, and how I think you can potty train your young child too.

I started training her, the moment she started sitting all by herself, which was by 6-7 months. I bought an infant potty chair and made her sit on it for sometime everyday during morning hours. I would sit in front of her and read her a book or talked to her or played something, while she sat there watching me. It worked. Soon she learnt to go potty first thing in the morning and I rarely changed a poopy diaper beyond 7 months of age.

Some of my beliefs for the process were/are:

1. If kids can signal hunger, they can signal wanting to go potty too: Kids cry when they are hungry and we train them to ask for food as they grow up. I strongly believe it is the same with potty training. When the child is too young to go to the bathroom by himself or herself, we have to watch for the signals and take them to the bathroom. And in this process, patience is an important virtue.
2. Bodies have a rhythm: We eat at regular intervals and we go bathroom at regular intervals. If we cultivate these rhythms, it becomes a healthy habit.
3. Be ready: We should be okay with rushing our child to the potty when we see that little pressure cringe on his or her face, even if we are at a friend’s place or in a mall or anywhere. Infact, be ready at the middle of the night too.

How we trained Aanya:

1. Understood her rhythm and made the start: Aanya soiled her diaper twice a day, usually at the same time and the moment she started sitting by herself- that was when I started. Just before her expected time of pooping, I would make her sit on her potty and talked to her. Before I knew it, she would poop. It was not instant, it took a couple of days, but the point is, it happened. The feel of no diaper and potty chair is important. 
2. Cheer in excitement: I always made a big deal whenever she pooped or peed in her potty, like clapping, cheering, hugging. It made her excited too. She began to associate her action to happy outcome. Even today, I appreciate her when she uses potty.
3. Noticed the signs: Poop signals are hard to miss in infants. Their faces crunch up. The moment I saw this sign, I would rush her to potty. These off schedule potty needs were rare, esp after  her morning and evening rhythm was set.
4. Diaper free bottoms worked: Not sure why we delayed in this, but when Aanya turned 17 months old and we were to shift to a new location where we had rented a carpeted house. Soiling a carpet scared me and I decided to peep train her before we shift. One weekend we left her diaper free. Realised, she had never sensed her pee, so it was important to have a few accidents, the feeling of wetness would quickly pee train her. And It Did. Soon after 2 accidents she was ready. We taught her a pee pee dance to convey to us whenever she wanted to go potty. She really enjoyed that dance. And very soon, by 18 months, she would rush to her potty and pull down pajamas all by herself.
5. Night time effort: Got her to potty, before nap or bedtime. She was a milk baby and she absolutely had to have her milk before she went to bed. So, I used to take her to potty around 11:30PM again, she would pee there while still asleep and would have a complete night with no accidents after that.

So, I would say, Potty training does work out in infant and young toddlers. We don't need to wait for 2-3 years to see if they are ready. They are ready even before we realise it. Just a little effort and much patience. Timing matters. Before they start to walk, make them sit on potty, else to make them sit would be a bigger task :)

I would love to hear what worked out for you, if you trained your infant. And share if you think someone would benefit from this piece of information.

Why does Disney do this?

Today, after dinner, Aanya and I settled down for an evening family movie. The type that Walt Disney films excel at. Disney films where no matter the adversity faced, the good WILL always win over evil. So, it was Dumbo. Dumbo, was the movie Aanya wanted to watch. She has a Dumbo story book as well, the one I read it to her just once and thereafter she never showed interest in it. I could not understand why. Until TODAY...

The movie started off with a sweet note...storks delivering newborn offspring to various circus animals, everyone happy to receive their newborns... with beautiful Momma and baby moments. I kept on explaining the scenes to Aanya until I saw her teary eyed. She looked at me and started crying "I don't like that, Mumma". The scene she was referring, was the one where fatherless Dumbo (baby elephant) is cruelly separated from Mrs Jumbo (Mommy elephant) after she is locked up for her apparent psychosis. As I was easing her down, the follow-up scene in which she cradles Dumbo with her trunk through the bars of her cage window, was too much for Aanya to handle and we stopped the movie right there.

I don't mind admitting, there are movies that make me cry. But I am not a kid and even after crying it really doesn't affect me much. It's a far different experience to be settled in for a movie night- ready for few laughs-few 'awww' moments, few nice messages and then get hit by the scene, the one that leaves your kid upset, teary eyed and sobbing.

Today's movie venture made me realize; to young children, something bad happening to parents on screen is much more upsetting. And now I know, why Aanya never liked her Dumbo book. She didn't tell me the reason because I think she herself wasn't sure of one.

I am not going to show her the following movies too ( the ones that I have seen), not until she is old enough to understand.

• Bambi, abandoned by his father before birth, experiences hunting and subsequent shooting of his mother.
• The Lion King, Simba's father gets killed in a stampede of wildebeests and Simba finds himself guilty of that. 
• Finding Nemo, gets separated from his father and gets caught by a diver and gets captured in a dentist's fish tank.

And Sometimes I wonder, why Disney fails to honor the most sacred of bonds- that of the mother and the father to their children. Phew! Tonight's movie hardly turned out to be a family entertainment. On a lighter note, if you or your child hasn't seen Disney's Robin-Hood, please do watch. Aanya has watched it for like 4 times and loves the light hearted battel of Robin, little John and other merry men against their evil foes. 

What you want to be...when you grow up?

Aanya is presently too young to understand this question, but very sweetly she asks "Mummy, can I be a Doctor when I grow up?" "Well, of course you can Sweetheart. But why do you want to be a Doctor?" I ask. "So that I can give you and others shots, like the way I get every time I visit the Doctor." Wow! Injection, what a motivation! Not bad. I smile.

No one asks me this question now...a sign of growing old, I believe :-) Remember the time when we were asked this question all the time! Teachers, friends, parents, grand-parents, relatives and of course, we did indeed pose the same question to ourselves a hundred times! What will I be some day? Our creative side wanted us to be an artist, designer, dancer, or a writer, our sensitive and caring side wanted us to be a doctor, our engineer parents inspiring us to be an engineer. This was a query so filled with delightful promises of a future still hidden but so within reach! Yes, there were doubts, the answer also changed from time to time...but it was all there for us to grab and become what we wanted to be.

What I realise when I look back, is that, during those days in most of us there was a maverick dream, something inspired. I mean very few of us wanted to be an accountant, a manager or a bank official! Majority of us wanted to be an artist or an athlete or some other fun job that started with an “a.” But typically that artist or athlete instead became a techie or a manager.
Growing up has its drawback...and such dreams are perhaps its first causality. There is a quote from a Bollywood movie: I, me aur mein, "I always wanted to learn Piano, dreamt of becoming a Musician when I grow up and then I grew up, dreams changed". Yes, ambitions do change, become modified or sometimes plain inability or lack of right opportunities stop us from doing what we once thought "we were born to do". And sometimes we start running after money, success and leave behind our dreams. And we just go where our life leads us. Why is it that very few people get to pursue the dreams of their childhood?

So, here I am...all matured and mom of one...and why do I think of this today? Maybe because inside me there is still this little voice asking me, what do you want to be now. And I guess most of us still do think of this....Is this my calling in life? Even today, in the middle of life, busy with job, kids, socializing, we still sometimes get jolted by this sudden thought, this ain't my calling...this is not what I wanted to do.

I believe, we can still connect to that child within us and bring some of that dream to life, and even if we can't, this question itself still can inspire us to some new adventure! bigger and better maybe.

And that's why I always say "Don't ever stop being a dreamer"
 

Watching Your Child Sleep...

Photo credit: The3dstudio.com

The other night, long after I'd tucked Aanya into bed, I went back into her room to check on her and honestly to watch her sleep. I'll never get tired of seeing the way she hugs her piggy( a soft toy) and sleeps a relaxed sleep. Not to mention it's the only time in the day when she's not asking me questions or telling me stories or asking me to help her with everything she's doing. Basically talking non-stop the full time she's at home. I don't know how she manages but she does it. It felt so quiet and peaceful.

The moment took me back 4.5 yrs when, Puneet was driving me to the hospital and trust me it was the scariest ride of my life. I was afraid. Yes, in pain too. But I was too overwhelmed by what was going to happen and how our lives were about to be turned upside down. I was terrified of labor. Terrified thinking that a male doctor was on call (Yes, it sounds silly, I know). Epidural. What if the epidural did not work? Puneet couldn't comfort me, because he too was submerged with emotions. The thing with men is, they can't feel the baby the way we women can and are clueless the entire nine months until they are handed over a little life, a tiny part of them, who can bring tears of joy down their eyes.

"This is it " We thought. We won't be alone for at least 18 years now. Our lives were about to change and there is no going back. We were going to enter Parenthood. The one we had signed up for nine months ago.

With all these overwhelming thoughts, a day and a half of labor, 3 hours of unsuccessful push and after an hour of c-section, I looked at Aanya for the first time. Humbled. Grateful. It didn't matter that she looked like an alien. I knew I will love her and always believe she's cute. I saw that perfection. And love. And mercy. And grace. I had never seen the hand of God so clearly in all my life.

Standing beside her bed, with these thoughts in my mind I smiled and Thanked God once again for the beautiful present He gifted me and assigned a big responsibility of raising her into a wonderful woman.

I will take good care of you baby girl. I promise.