This post is to all the husbands who are also fathers, who work long hours full time while their wives take care of the children at home. So all you dads/husbands, this is for you :)
We know you do your best. We know you work long hours. We know that at the end of the day, sometimes you need a break too. But here’s the thing: society appreciates you. And while you’re viewed as the high and mighty “provider,” your wife –the stay at home mom– is unappreciated, unpaid and viewed as being unambitious.
Raising a family is a team effort. The two of you got into parenthood together, so both of you have to make it work together. And for some families, having one working parent and one stay at home parent is the best solution. So while you reap the glory of being the “provider,” try to sing the praises of your wife who happily takes the backseat, puts everyone before herself, and smile to watch as the people she loves shine.
So here are some things that Husbands should do for their Wives.
1. Let her feel little. In a world where your wife pulls little munchkins in tight for hugs, where she heals booboos with magic kisses, and she typically has someone sitting on her lap all hours of the day…sometimes she needs to feel little. I guarantee you that she misses what it felt like to be protected rather than to be the protector. Sometimes she needs you to give her a bear hug so she can remember what it feels like to be little and loved big.
2. Motherhood is mentally exhausting. Yes, you spend your days working hard to support your family and she appreciates that—trust me, she does. She knows she cannot do this without you. But far too often what she is doing is being taken for granted and under appreciated. Be her support. Be her constant. Motherhood is hard, it is exhausting, and speaking in baby language all day long is not easy. At the very least she deserves to shower in peace.
3. Acknowledge her accomplishments. You likely have a boss who acknowledges your successes and a paycheck that rewards you at the end of the month. You know what she has? A handful of children who take and take and take and very rarely give back. And then—she also has you. If you do not acknowledge that she can cook dinner while breastfeeding the baby and working on homework with your oldest all at the same time, then no one will. She needs to know that you are aware of the fact that she somehow grows octopus arms and that she can multitask like it’s nobody’s business. Come on, you know you couldn’t pull off the same.
4. If she's pregnant, be present. If you have the kind of job that allows you to make your own hours, try to leave early so you can come home early. She is likely dead tired at the end of the day. Her feet are swollen, her body is aching and she is carrying this baby for both of you. When you are home, be home—be present. And try to appreciate the fact that she is sacrificing her body for this child—your child.
5. She takes care of everyone, sometimes she needs to be taken care of. Don’t forget that she needs someone to rub her back, dry her tears, and listen to her words. She is more than just a continuation of her children. She is more than just your counterpart. She needs to be at the center sometimes too.
6. If you are lucky she will do the same for you. Because raising a family is a team effort and she knows that.
We know you do your best. We know you work long hours. We know that at the end of the day, sometimes you need a break too. But here’s the thing: society appreciates you. And while you’re viewed as the high and mighty “provider,” your wife –the stay at home mom– is unappreciated, unpaid and viewed as being unambitious.
Raising a family is a team effort. The two of you got into parenthood together, so both of you have to make it work together. And for some families, having one working parent and one stay at home parent is the best solution. So while you reap the glory of being the “provider,” try to sing the praises of your wife who happily takes the backseat, puts everyone before herself, and smile to watch as the people she loves shine.
So here are some things that Husbands should do for their Wives.
1. Let her feel little. In a world where your wife pulls little munchkins in tight for hugs, where she heals booboos with magic kisses, and she typically has someone sitting on her lap all hours of the day…sometimes she needs to feel little. I guarantee you that she misses what it felt like to be protected rather than to be the protector. Sometimes she needs you to give her a bear hug so she can remember what it feels like to be little and loved big.
2. Motherhood is mentally exhausting. Yes, you spend your days working hard to support your family and she appreciates that—trust me, she does. She knows she cannot do this without you. But far too often what she is doing is being taken for granted and under appreciated. Be her support. Be her constant. Motherhood is hard, it is exhausting, and speaking in baby language all day long is not easy. At the very least she deserves to shower in peace.
3. Acknowledge her accomplishments. You likely have a boss who acknowledges your successes and a paycheck that rewards you at the end of the month. You know what she has? A handful of children who take and take and take and very rarely give back. And then—she also has you. If you do not acknowledge that she can cook dinner while breastfeeding the baby and working on homework with your oldest all at the same time, then no one will. She needs to know that you are aware of the fact that she somehow grows octopus arms and that she can multitask like it’s nobody’s business. Come on, you know you couldn’t pull off the same.
4. If she's pregnant, be present. If you have the kind of job that allows you to make your own hours, try to leave early so you can come home early. She is likely dead tired at the end of the day. Her feet are swollen, her body is aching and she is carrying this baby for both of you. When you are home, be home—be present. And try to appreciate the fact that she is sacrificing her body for this child—your child.
5. She takes care of everyone, sometimes she needs to be taken care of. Don’t forget that she needs someone to rub her back, dry her tears, and listen to her words. She is more than just a continuation of her children. She is more than just your counterpart. She needs to be at the center sometimes too.
6. If you are lucky she will do the same for you. Because raising a family is a team effort and she knows that.
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