How was your Day today...

Conversation with Aanya after school:

Me: How was your day today at school?
Aanya: Good
Me: You had fun?
Aanya: Yes
Me: What did you do?
Aanya: I played.

The school has begun and I find myself asking Aanya this question everyday after school. These one word reply often puts me off. Ofcourse, you played at school. That's it? I want to know lot more. You spend 7 hours at school, it has to be more than one word 'Good'. 

I realised that asking how was your day today was probably the least effective way of finding out what was happening at school. I need to ask about things that are specific, but still open-ended. I need to have a conversation that is more natural, than forced. I need to device an effective approach. And here's what I did....

•  Greet first, ask later: I discovered, Aanya was least interested to talk right after school, when she is really tired. So, I learnt just to greet and chat about other things to get her a little more relaxed, at times giving her an anecdote from my own day.  

•  So, yes, talked about my day first: I shared something about my day. Like whom did I talk to over the phone, if I read something interesting today, I went shopping and what I saw....just to stimulate a natural conversation about something at school. A conversation is better when kids bring up the subject themselves. 

• Direct questions: Rather than asking, "What did you do at school today?", I started asking more engaging questions like What you read in the class today?, Whom did you play with? What did you play? What new song Miss Ann taught you today?What is the name of the new girl/boy of your class?....infact, I just saw this wonderful blog that has some interesting questions to ask kids. 

• Ask just Once: One more thing I found out, if by chance I asked the same question again, she wouldn't reply and instead say "I just answered this, Mumma. Why would you ask me same thing again?" Asking same thing, makes it appear rehearsed and not natural. And I think kids feels they are being asked just for the sake of asking.

Phew! Parenting is tough. But I am glad, I don't get a one word reply now.