My daughter runs fast. Seriously fast. When she was over one year of age, " Don't run so fast, you will fall" was a phrase I used all the time. And in spite of my warning, she would run and fall and bruise her knees and cry. One time, when her knee was hurt, she was in such a shock, she retired to bed early evening and woke up straight in the morning.
Running FAST was something she enjoyed, untill one evening. We were playing in the play ground and I ran, when I heard a voice from behind " Mom, stop! Don't run, you will fall" and I turned back and shouted "No I won't, I am careful, you run too" and she replied "No, Mumma I will fall"
Ouch!! Now that came as a shocker. Have I unintentionally planted fear in her mind? Because I am afraid of her getting hurt, have I made my fear her fear as well?
It was a damage that needed to be corrected before it got worse. I made myself understand that children learn best from natural consequences and falling now will help her to assess risk more accurately in future. Fostering confidence in her body now will free her from self doubt later.
I don't use that phrase anymore. To encourage her, I run with her, just to show running fast doesn't hurt. And when she says she will fall, I reply back saying she's wearing magic shoes that will prevent her from falling and if she does fall Its OK, we can take care of that, we have magic band aids :)
How knowingly or unknowingly we do things that negatively effects our children. How many of you faced same or similar situations and what you did about it?
Running FAST was something she enjoyed, untill one evening. We were playing in the play ground and I ran, when I heard a voice from behind " Mom, stop! Don't run, you will fall" and I turned back and shouted "No I won't, I am careful, you run too" and she replied "No, Mumma I will fall"
Ouch!! Now that came as a shocker. Have I unintentionally planted fear in her mind? Because I am afraid of her getting hurt, have I made my fear her fear as well?
It was a damage that needed to be corrected before it got worse. I made myself understand that children learn best from natural consequences and falling now will help her to assess risk more accurately in future. Fostering confidence in her body now will free her from self doubt later.
I don't use that phrase anymore. To encourage her, I run with her, just to show running fast doesn't hurt. And when she says she will fall, I reply back saying she's wearing magic shoes that will prevent her from falling and if she does fall Its OK, we can take care of that, we have magic band aids :)
How knowingly or unknowingly we do things that negatively effects our children. How many of you faced same or similar situations and what you did about it?
When we visited India we used to tell Arul do not go near dogs they can bite you. At that time he was only 2.5 years old but after coming back to US what we found that he was so scared of dogs that he will start crying and screaming even if he would see dog from a distance,then we realized that we have done something wrong. Then to correct our mistake and boost confidence in him we slowly slowly encouraged him to touch and pat the dogs with us. It took some time but he is not scared anymore. But one thing we still have to make him clear is the difference between the stray dogs and pets. We will start working on that soon.
ReplyDeleteRight!! Never thought about that...Thanks for sharing Pritika!
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