Why does Disney do this?

Today, after dinner, Aanya and I settled down for an evening family movie. The type that Walt Disney films excel at. Disney films where no matter the adversity faced, the good WILL always win over evil. So, it was Dumbo. Dumbo, was the movie Aanya wanted to watch. She has a Dumbo story book as well, the one I read it to her just once and thereafter she never showed interest in it. I could not understand why. Until TODAY...

The movie started off with a sweet note...storks delivering newborn offspring to various circus animals, everyone happy to receive their newborns... with beautiful Momma and baby moments. I kept on explaining the scenes to Aanya until I saw her teary eyed. She looked at me and started crying "I don't like that, Mumma". The scene she was referring, was the one where fatherless Dumbo (baby elephant) is cruelly separated from Mrs Jumbo (Mommy elephant) after she is locked up for her apparent psychosis. As I was easing her down, the follow-up scene in which she cradles Dumbo with her trunk through the bars of her cage window, was too much for Aanya to handle and we stopped the movie right there.

I don't mind admitting, there are movies that make me cry. But I am not a kid and even after crying it really doesn't affect me much. It's a far different experience to be settled in for a movie night- ready for few laughs-few 'awww' moments, few nice messages and then get hit by the scene, the one that leaves your kid upset, teary eyed and sobbing.

Today's movie venture made me realize; to young children, something bad happening to parents on screen is much more upsetting. And now I know, why Aanya never liked her Dumbo book. She didn't tell me the reason because I think she herself wasn't sure of one.

I am not going to show her the following movies too ( the ones that I have seen), not until she is old enough to understand.

• Bambi, abandoned by his father before birth, experiences hunting and subsequent shooting of his mother.
• The Lion King, Simba's father gets killed in a stampede of wildebeests and Simba finds himself guilty of that. 
• Finding Nemo, gets separated from his father and gets caught by a diver and gets captured in a dentist's fish tank.

And Sometimes I wonder, why Disney fails to honor the most sacred of bonds- that of the mother and the father to their children. Phew! Tonight's movie hardly turned out to be a family entertainment. On a lighter note, if you or your child hasn't seen Disney's Robin-Hood, please do watch. Aanya has watched it for like 4 times and loves the light hearted battel of Robin, little John and other merry men against their evil foes. 

What you want to be...when you grow up?

Aanya is presently too young to understand this question, but very sweetly she asks "Mummy, can I be a Doctor when I grow up?" "Well, of course you can Sweetheart. But why do you want to be a Doctor?" I ask. "So that I can give you and others shots, like the way I get every time I visit the Doctor." Wow! Injection, what a motivation! Not bad. I smile.

No one asks me this question now...a sign of growing old, I believe :-) Remember the time when we were asked this question all the time! Teachers, friends, parents, grand-parents, relatives and of course, we did indeed pose the same question to ourselves a hundred times! What will I be some day? Our creative side wanted us to be an artist, designer, dancer, or a writer, our sensitive and caring side wanted us to be a doctor, our engineer parents inspiring us to be an engineer. This was a query so filled with delightful promises of a future still hidden but so within reach! Yes, there were doubts, the answer also changed from time to time...but it was all there for us to grab and become what we wanted to be.

What I realise when I look back, is that, during those days in most of us there was a maverick dream, something inspired. I mean very few of us wanted to be an accountant, a manager or a bank official! Majority of us wanted to be an artist or an athlete or some other fun job that started with an “a.” But typically that artist or athlete instead became a techie or a manager.
Growing up has its drawback...and such dreams are perhaps its first causality. There is a quote from a Bollywood movie: I, me aur mein, "I always wanted to learn Piano, dreamt of becoming a Musician when I grow up and then I grew up, dreams changed". Yes, ambitions do change, become modified or sometimes plain inability or lack of right opportunities stop us from doing what we once thought "we were born to do". And sometimes we start running after money, success and leave behind our dreams. And we just go where our life leads us. Why is it that very few people get to pursue the dreams of their childhood?

So, here I am...all matured and mom of one...and why do I think of this today? Maybe because inside me there is still this little voice asking me, what do you want to be now. And I guess most of us still do think of this....Is this my calling in life? Even today, in the middle of life, busy with job, kids, socializing, we still sometimes get jolted by this sudden thought, this ain't my calling...this is not what I wanted to do.

I believe, we can still connect to that child within us and bring some of that dream to life, and even if we can't, this question itself still can inspire us to some new adventure! bigger and better maybe.

And that's why I always say "Don't ever stop being a dreamer"
 

Watching Your Child Sleep...

Photo credit: The3dstudio.com

The other night, long after I'd tucked Aanya into bed, I went back into her room to check on her and honestly to watch her sleep. I'll never get tired of seeing the way she hugs her piggy( a soft toy) and sleeps a relaxed sleep. Not to mention it's the only time in the day when she's not asking me questions or telling me stories or asking me to help her with everything she's doing. Basically talking non-stop the full time she's at home. I don't know how she manages but she does it. It felt so quiet and peaceful.

The moment took me back 4.5 yrs when, Puneet was driving me to the hospital and trust me it was the scariest ride of my life. I was afraid. Yes, in pain too. But I was too overwhelmed by what was going to happen and how our lives were about to be turned upside down. I was terrified of labor. Terrified thinking that a male doctor was on call (Yes, it sounds silly, I know). Epidural. What if the epidural did not work? Puneet couldn't comfort me, because he too was submerged with emotions. The thing with men is, they can't feel the baby the way we women can and are clueless the entire nine months until they are handed over a little life, a tiny part of them, who can bring tears of joy down their eyes.

"This is it " We thought. We won't be alone for at least 18 years now. Our lives were about to change and there is no going back. We were going to enter Parenthood. The one we had signed up for nine months ago.

With all these overwhelming thoughts, a day and a half of labor, 3 hours of unsuccessful push and after an hour of c-section, I looked at Aanya for the first time. Humbled. Grateful. It didn't matter that she looked like an alien. I knew I will love her and always believe she's cute. I saw that perfection. And love. And mercy. And grace. I had never seen the hand of God so clearly in all my life.

Standing beside her bed, with these thoughts in my mind I smiled and Thanked God once again for the beautiful present He gifted me and assigned a big responsibility of raising her into a wonderful woman.

I will take good care of you baby girl. I promise.

Simple Mats from Vinyl Table Cloth...DIY

MAT MADE FROM VINYL TABLE CLOTH AND DUCK TAPE....
CAN BE USED FOR PARK VISITS OR CLASSROOM

While cleaning some old stuffs today, I found a bright colored vinyl table cloth( the flannel backed kind) that I had bought last year but never used it. Now that Summer is round the corner, I believe there would be tons of outdoor activities and many picnic days. We would need Picnic Mats. A waterproof Picnic Mat. So, I decided to make one. It's the simplest and the cheapest mat you can think of.

First I cut out 2 pieces of vinyl table cloth and 1 piece of quilt padding (which I had it from my other projects) of size 35" X 25" and layered it as below. Pinned the layers together, so that they don't move.

I joined them by a colorful duct tape. You could even sew colorful bias tapes for a sew version.

Isn't it fun and bright? I love it. So lightweight, they can be rolled up or folded easily. And just for $4.00. Can you believe it! Off into my car it goes.....

Oh wait! This gives me an idea for another project....:) Stay tuned!

Damn These Pollens!!

Sunshine, warm temperatures, daffodils, and blooming plants of all varieties...Spring! Aaha!... Most joyous time of the year, Right? Wrong. To few people like us, this is the most miserable time of the year. Trust me, it's not funny, when you try to sleep with a congested nose or itchy eyes or scratchy throat, that too every single day. It takes you back to those sleepless nights, which you experienced when you became a parent. The difference is, as a new parent you could still manage to steal a nap but with pollen congested nose....No chance! You can just try to sleep and wait and wait and wait....

Day before yesterday, I don't remember if I slept, both me and my husband were trying to breathe through our mouth and then coughing ourselves out due to dry throat and then drinking a sip of water.....yes! that's how our night went. In the afternoon, when I went to pick up Aanya from school, my eyes were literally shutting down while driving. Yes, I know, I know. It wasn't safe. I had to stop the car in between and wash my face with cold water. Thankfully I had cold water in the car. So you see, I told you earlier, Pollen allergy isn't funny.

Yes, we have been taking Claritin and nasal sprays, limiting our outdoor activities, keeping our indoors clean, clothes clean....probably that's why the symptoms aren't too bad. But the allergies are crappy....

Before coming to US, I always thought, our immune system would only react if a harmful substance, such as bacteria, attacks the body. But our immune systems are working too hard and reacting even when relatively harmless substances, such as pollen, are present. Infact, I never knew it could cause allergy. When I speak to my folks in India, they too find it difficult to picture the intensity of such a small substance. Just to give you an idea....

All that yellow thing in water and on pathway is POLLEN.

Damn These Pollens!!We want to breathe normally again sooooon!!

Things Women are expected to Do...

The short film "My Choice" by Homi Adajania, featuring Deepika Padukone and 99 other Indian women, talk about Women Empowerment particularly in context of Clothing, Marriage and Sex. I think it was in response to the Nirbhaya Documentary where the rapist had blamed the women for rape. It's the women who are blamed for everything. Our society expects women to do lot of things, its actually amazing how many rules there are that women ascribe to. And what if you don't follow them? Shame...Shame...Shame. You become undesirable.
Come on, people! Get real. Women who don't follow rules have lot of fun being themselves. They are just so FULL OF LIFE. They are joyful and successful. By being herself, woman becomes much loved and respected. That's Empowerment. To be Oneself. Yes, I don't agree to few parts of the film (in particular to sex outside marriage, because that's cheating), but I do agree everyone, why just women, should have their own choice, their own stand, their own identity. We are living our own life and not someone else's... to follow rules.

Here are few things that I feel should atleast be optional or best, be removed from Women Rulebook...

1. To Be Nice: Not sure why are we expected to be Nice. Kind, Yes! Nice, No. Kind is good. Kind people go a long way. They can do anything with grace, dignity, humor and courage. I never tell my daughter to be nice, I always remind her to have lots of fun and be kind.
2.  Apologize: I see women apologizing for every damn thing. " I'm sorry, did I disturb you?", "I am sorry, is this a good time to talk", "I am sorry, but I can't cook today". I am sorry is often irrelevant. "Is it a good time to talk" is thoughtful and that is all you need to be. Unless you hurt someone, please don't apologize.
3. Explain My Choice: If you want to travel the world, paint the house yellow, learn German, or start a business, it's your own choice and you don't have to explain it to anyone. You don't have to tell the waiter that you are on diet- just order salad. You don't have to justify cutting your hair short- just go to the salon. You don't need an excuse to go to an acting school at 40. Just enroll yourself and go. Obviously, you don't need approval from anyone.
4. Have Kids: Not everyone want to have kids. Not everyone want to have more than one or two kids. And honestly that's not so bad. Do things in a way you choose to live your life. We all are not the same and it is not a badge of honor to have a child.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

-Steve Jobs

Zero-Four: All about Toys and Games...

Today I was packing away the toys and games that Aanya no longer plays with, which gives me a perfect opportunity to write up what went well with the toys (as in, her favorites) she has had in last four years. Parents whose children are younger than Aanya often ask me to recommend good games and new parents often complain their child, inspite of having room filled with toys barely plays with any. Hope this post would be some help to them.

Before I start, there are two rules that we follow. Rule 1: Limit the number of toys. The fewer, the better. We believe, with fewer toys kids can concentrate more on each. With too many toys their attention span suffers and rarely learn to appreciate the toy in front of them (if they have countless options on the shelf behind them) Yes, its frustrating at times when kids feel bored, which parents often feel is due to lack to enough toys. But that's the time they can be engaged to Arts and Craft and have plenty of opportunity to play Outdoors.
And Rule number 2 ( which we tried to follow till age 2): Don't spend much on toys. Buy second hand as much as possible.

Age 0-6 months 

1. Bright Starts Grab and Spin Rattle: $3.50  
2. Baby Einstein Take along Tunes : $7.00
3. Fisher- Price Rainforest melodies and lights deluxe Gym: $55.00
4. Baby Einstein Bendy Ball: $7.00
5. Lamaze Play and grow- Freddie the firefly: $15

Age 6-12 Months

1. Fisher Price Brilliant Basics Rock-a-Stack: $4.00
2. Tiny Love Follow me Activity Toy, Fred :$16.00
3. Fisher Price Go baby Go Stride to Ride Dino:

 

 Age 1-2 yrs

1. Lakeshore learning's Play and learn Puzzle blocks: $17.00
2. Fisher Price Brilliant basics Melody Push Chime: $16.00
3. Leapfrog learn and Groove Musical Table: $40.00
4. Mellisa and Doug large shaped jumbo puzzle: $ 18.00
5. Fisher price Laugh and Learn love to play Puppy: $ 32.00
6. Playskool Busy Poppin' Pals Toy: $17.00

Age 2-3 yrs

1. Lego Duplo
2. Mellisa n Doug Stacking Train $ 14.00
3. Small world Toys Living- Peel N Play Velcro play set: $ 19.00
4. Step2 Lifestyle fresh Accents Kitchen: $78.00
5.  Lego Duplo
6.  Fisher Price Rock Roll and Ride Trike: $55.00
7.  and 8. Mellisa and Doug Inside Numbers and Alphabets peg puzzle: $8.00

Age 3-4 yrs

1. V Tech Tote and Go laptop: $38.00
2. Play Dough
3. Step2 Easel for two : $50.00
4. Jigsaw Puzzles and more puzzles and some more puzzles... 
5. Puzzles
6.  Popular Playthings Hexi Snaps:  $29.00 
7. Little Tikes Turtle Sand Box: $70.00

Age 4 

1. Monopoly Junior Board Game: $13.00
2. Quercetti Techno building Toy: $28.00
3. Spider-man Foam Bat/Ball  Set: $13.00
4. Fisher Price Travel Doodler Pro: $22.00
5. Hasbro Memory game: $14.00
6. Chutes and Ladder: $11.00
7. Fisher Price Medical Kit:$14.00

Hope this post will be some help to you in buying toys for your kids. The prices are the current
prices from Amazon.com, which might change in future or you might find cheaper somewhere else.

Experienced parents, Please do share what are your kids' favorite toys. It might be a good recommendation for other parents, as we all know toys are not cheap. A good recommendation goes a long way.