Opposites Attract: True or False?

Today at Publix, I overheard a funny conversation between a couple and it made me wonder how different they were from each other. One wanted to go to pub and socialize, other wanted to sit at home and watch TV. They were different but were together (for now). And why not? We all have heard opposites attract. Right?

Lets give some food for thought here. Is similar tastes in food and movies important to hold a relationship together AND Can different hobbies and passion drive you apart?

Alright, I think opposites attract only in movies and fairy tales. An aristocrat and a commoner, An educated and a stupid, Beauty and the beast. Two totally dissimilar people celebrate their (extreme) differences and live happily ever after. True love wins! A perfect world.

Generally speaking, I think opposites don't attract at all. We like people who are like us. And the more we have in common with someone, the more likely we are to get along. Similar people are more likely to get together in the first place and are also more likely to find satisfaction in their relationship. Ofcourse, that doesn't mean they have to be identical, but I think successful couples share similar backgrounds, core values, beliefs, attitudes about what they like and dislike. Basically we fall for someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow.

And why just couples, our best friends are someone with whom we share similar thinking. Perhaps, they are longest lasting because you don’t end up sniping at each other over things you hold dear. It’s much easier to get along with someone with whom you agree rather than someone that you don’t.

So, Don't you think "Opposites- Attract"rule, should be changed to "Likes- Attract" rule in the choice of long term partners or friendships?

Like A Girl...

Always #LikeAGirl is one of the female empowerment ad that has grown viral and I loved the way its shown, as I can so relate to it. 

It reminds me of an incident happened with me when I was young. I have an elder brother and I would always try to tag along with him wherever he went. I tried to play with his friends, go on picnics with his friends, in fact, my Mom used to sometimes make me wear his clothes after he had out grown them. So basically, between boys, I used to consider myself one of them. Girl yet not girl like. 

When I reached that adolescent age and started growing physically like a girl, someone made a first comment - " Richa, you look like a girl" and at that time, I was confused.  Basically, I did not like it. No, I am not like a girl. I thought. I am strong like boys. So yes, 'like a girl' was an insult to me. I was little ashamed of myself. I had started doing things more like boys. Rather copying them. It surely had a huge impact on my self confidence. 

While playing table tennis, someone would shout " Richa, don't play like a girl", while running, someone would shout "Richa, don't run like a girl, run fast" , "Richa, don't cry like a girl, be a sport" and so on...

It was only later, much much later, did I understand...I do things like a girl, because I am a girl. And I am amazing.  I am tough, I have a heart, I am talented, I am gutsy and I am absolutely proud of who I am. I do things, the way I would do things.

And as the girl rightly said in the ad" If somebody else says that running like a girl or kicking like a girl or shooting like a girl is something that you shouldn't be doing, that's their problem, because if you are still scoring, still getting evolved with time, and you are still being first, you are doing it right, doesn't matter what they say"

 

Never leave the house WITHOUT...

“I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”     - Coco Chanel.

I saw this quote and my instant reaction to it was " Absolutely" "Totally". I agree. Clothing, shoes, makeup and accessories have this crazy power to influence a girl's self esteem ( for that day). Our outfit is an extension of the awesome us, that we already are. Right?

I never leave the house without putting on these 3 things- Kajal, Lip gloss and Earrings. 

Without these things I look and feel unfinished. They are like icing on the cake of all awesomeness. These little extras show that you care, you take pride in your appearance. I don't wear bright lip gloss or huge earring, just a simple one does the trick. 

Its about so much more than looking pretty. Its about feeling good about yourself. 

Now, You wonderful ladies tell me "You never leave the house without.....". Do post a comment below. Would love to hear about your must haves.

Bold Summer Prints. Be Daring this Summer.

Two posts on bold colors! I couldn't resist... I've come across some beautiful things that I just had to share. The Red Dress Boutique in Downtown, Athens is celebrating the summer months with bold, bright and beautiful prints and here are a few of my favorites from their collection.

This summer season has seen an explosion of bold colors, bold prints and floral prints. Mixing these styles together to bring a truly vibrant look. Be daring this summer. I am loving it! :)

Photo credit: Pictures taken from their facebook page.

Focus. You can do it. I did it Mumma.

One morning I took Aanya to a park. Its close from our place and we go there all the time. Luckily, there were a bunch of girls, about her age or maybe slighter older. I used 'Luckily' because I don't find much kids in the park, anytime we go. Not sure where they play( if they play), but yes, kids in park is a rare scene. Anyways...

I asked one girl if Aanya can join them and very sweetly she replied "Ofcourse, she can". So I just sat on a bench and became a silent spectator of their activities. Sometimes its important to just sit and watch and let kids do whatever they want to. In just a few minutes I saw Aanya running towards the climber (following one of the girl) and within seconds, she was on top. She climbed the wall so easily as if she was never afraid of it. And then she happily shouted "I did it, Mumma. I did it"

Puneet and I have been constantly motivating and encouraging her to climb the wall, many times showing how to do it, other times holding her hand while she tried, but in vain. Some sort of fear always held her back.  After few attempts we gave up. And then we realised,  

Some things that are simple and easy for us or for other kids, isn't that simple for her and eventually she will overcome her fear of climbing. If a child refuses to do a task - respect that refusal. There is probably a deep-seated emotional reason associated with previous experience and no amount of persuading or bribery is going to change the child's mind. 

So that was the morning, she overcame her fear of climbing wall.

A 'Date' with my Daughter...

Ever since my daughter, Aanya was 1, we have had a mother-daughter date. I would take her to have ice-cream at our favorite ice-cream parlour in Hamden, CT. At that time, the purpose of such outings was just to give her and myself little change from our routine. But, over the time, as our outings increased, I realised during such DATES we bond pretty well. We talk, we listen, we share things, we do things together. It has become a fun part of our lives and we look forward to it.

At home, we don’t listen to our kids that much. Sure, we hear them–the constant stream of questions, whining, and just noise sort of gets in the way of what they're really saying. But you have to listen to hear it. Spending sometime outside is a great way of strengthening the bond between you and your daughter. Its a great way to build that self-esteem in her and encourage good qualities to shine through.

Here are some tips from the things I do, that always make our day special:

1. Take your daughter to somewhere special like ice cream parlour, library, park, mall or children's museum. A date should be an escape from reality, an escape that allows you to connect and grow closer.

2. Listen to her. Ask her questions about what she likes to do and who she wants to be when she grows up. What her favorite thing about School is?  Filipa over at Pepper & Buttons has this beautiful list of things to ask your children.

3. Be affectionate, smile a bunch.

4. Most important, Have FUN with your daughter. Put disciplining on hold. In my experience, both as a child and as a mom, the joy of having mom’s full, undivided attention usually produces the most perfect version of your child. Its a win win situation Mommys!

So, go ahead, plan a date and see the difference in your daughter! 

Will soon post my date ideas, Where I take Aanya and Where you can take your daughter :)

Go BOLD with COLORS. Be inspired.

I love bold colors. Not just for home decor, which you saw in one of my previous blog post, but in my closet as well. And summer is the perfect time to go bold and bright. My favorite brightest hues to a hot weather wardrobe are:

1. Turquoise : I don't think there is a better color to show off your love for summer. It is so cool.

2. Neon: Summer surely calls for something that really gets noticed. What a better way to crank up the color voltage with neon. To ensure it doesn't get too bold, I always wear it with something white.

3. Pastels: You can never go wrong with pastel colors. Its an all the time color.

4. Navy blue: I like this color in formal wear. It makes you chic.

5. Green and Tangerine: They make fun summer statement.

6. Red:  That's my favorite. Its such an empowering color and always boosts up my confidence.

7. Yellow: For me its a happy and cheerful color. I feel so happy whenever I see this color, be it in the garden or home. Its an epitome of spring and summer.

And now, showtime :))

Just came across this blog by Jeanette Scott on fun color combos to try out this summer, check it out for more ideas.

Overly...Gendered...Clothing: Dinosaur VS Princess

Today was a shopping day. My daughter, Aanya, wanted to buy a MONSTER T-shirt. Now, that was a desire hard to be fulfilled. Monster T-shirt for girls? I don't see things like bugs, dinosaurs, trucks, rockets, batman, superman etc. on clothes marketed to girls. They are the so called masculine icons. In general, they are hard to find amongst the racks of pink Princess, Dora, lady bug, butterflies or unicorn adorned girls clothing.

So, yeah, in my mind, I had decided to shop in the boys section, which honestly I don't mind. My girl at this tender age isn't taught to like just the Princesses. She is fond of Super heros, Dinosaurs, Airplanes...and she simply loves blue.

We stopped at Carters and before I could guide Aanya, she went straight to the boy's section, which BTW she wasn't aware off, she just marched towards her target- MONSTER and grabbed a T-Rex T-shirt.

Later while returning back home she asked me, " Mummy, Is this T-shirt for boys?" Not really knowing how to respond to that, I simply answered "She can wear it too"

Throughout the drive, I kept thinking, Someone please make Dinosaur T-shirts in girls fit too. And please! PINK Superman will not do. Superman is Blue and Red and you can't fool a girl by offering her a pink Superman.

How a 3.5 year old's MIND works!!

Today I asked Aanya," Can you do something with ALL your toys?" and all she replied was "Ummm". I told her, I will help in whatever she decides to do with them. So here's how it started...

She initially spread all her Animal toys, Vehicles and Superheroes. Then she thought, they all need bed to sleep, so she started making beds for them from Hexi-snaps.

So they all have a bed now :), Then she decided to celebrate her Happy Birthday with them. And for that she needed cake and other party foods which she made from Playdough.

She made Cake, cookies and chips( from Playdough) and used her Easter eggs too. And BTW, we sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG for her :))
Then she decided to fence her animals or they might run away. So for that she made fence with her Wooden blocks.

And finally, she needed a garden where they all can play together after the party. So, she made the garden from her Lego Blocks.

(Yes, cake and other foodies are missing, they ate it all up:))
So pretty much she used many of her toys and she was so happy with her this step by step creation, which made me happy as well. And in this entire process, I was just sitting and watching and helping where ever she asked me to.

No, Mommy! You can't be sick.

On our way home from Publix today morning, my daughter, Aanya, asked me if we can stop by at the park, so that she can play. I agreed. There were many kids around her age playing, so I asked her to join them while I sit on the bench and watch. She wanted me to play with her. I said, ''Aanya, I am not well today and I need to take it easy because if my health gets worse, who's going to take care of her". After some thinking she replied " Its OK if you are not well Mom, you can still play, we can call daddy to take care of you later"

I had this conversation with her today and it suddenly made me wonder, what does a sick day look like for a stay-at-home mother? Exactly like any other day - kids need to be fed, taken to school, play with them, run errands, if important. Any answer?

When I woke up one morning, couple of days back with a tickle in my throat, I pushed it to the back of my mind. No, no, it's nothing, I'm not sick, I told myself. Later that day, I started having slight headache. Ignore it; you're fine, I said. Yesterday morning I woke up with a scratchy throat and sinus pain and I ignored it again as there were lot of things to be done yesterday. Eventually, by the evening I had to admit, that yes, I was sick.

In a perfect world, I would call in sick and take to my bed. I'd surround myself with quilts, tissues, hot tea, and Amazon videos while I rested in a quiet house. In a slightly less perfect world, I'd have my husband not go to work today or come home from work early while I recuperate. In my actual world, neither of those things are available to me, so I am just surviving the best way I know how. Here are a few things that seem to help me hang on:

1. Make things easy for Aanya to help herself: I cut lots of fruits and kept in a bowl on the table. Along with it, a basket is full of her snacks. She can have whatever she wants without disturbing me.

2. Be Ok with entertaining herself, in whatever form: Today is not an ideal day to be picky about what she's doing for fun. As long as she's occupied. I am happy. Even if that means lots of Amazon instant videos.

3. Let everything wait for a while: Laundry will have to wait, the dishes, the clutter pile, they all have to wait while I rest for sometime.
 
How do you deal with being sick while managing a household? Share your tips and advice below!

My little guide towards Happy Mommy!

Mothers are expected to do everything. Look great, raise superstar kids, keep an impeccable house, be the perfect wife and if working, make good salaries. And if that's not enough, make time for their friends who feel left out. It is easy to get caught up in these everyday demands.

And that's why I feel, being happy is a CHOICE. We have to choose to engage in activities that help us to see the lighter side of life. I have a few suggestions below. They sure lift up my mood and I hope they will do the same to you.

1. Take out time for yourself : Get a hair cut or a massage. Go for a coffee ALONE. Read a book you've always wanted to read. I understand, its difficult and that's why I said,  you have to make decision to create time a day purely for yourself. You can probably wake up little early.
Just do this and see the difference.

2. Exercise: A quote that I read on pinterest " Exercise give you endorphins, Endorphins make you happy". Exercise does make you more energetic. I don't go to gym, BUT I walk and it gives me an emotional boost and keeps me relaxed.

3. Express yourself creatively: Do something creative that lights you up. It could be painting, dancing, writing, designing, anything that fulfills that need. Keeping yourself engaged in meaningful work is one of the largest part of figuring out how to be happy.

4. Nuture friendship- Connect with other women : Doesn't it make you smile when you talk to someone and say "What? You too" Its important to connect with other women. Life becomes so simple.

5. Sleep: Don't you feel super when you get a good night's sleep? When you wake up and don't reach for caffeine first thing in the morning. Regular sleep is so so essential for happy you. Mom's of young kids, don't get enough sleep ( for obvious reason) and here I feel husband's can help, like mine always did when my daughter was little. At times, he would ask me to sleep in the guest room( away from disturbances) and he took care of our daughter at night. I would wake up fresh! relaxed! on top of the world.

6. Lightening the overload: Its OK if the laundry is not done, Its OK if the house is not cleaned, Its OK if dirty dishes keep lying in the sink, Its OK if you don't cook. Don't be too hard on yourself and try to do less more often.

7. Hugs and snuggles:  Most most important! My day is incomplete without this. Getting hugs from my little one is so precious. I love it. Makes me believe, I am good.

And now its YOUR TURN. Have you been doing any or all of the above? Share how you add joy to your everyday.

It might be painting, acting, dance, writing, scrapbooking, designing, anything that fulfills that need. - See more at: http://yourkickasslife.com/coaching/11-things-happy-women-do#sthash.717ZUJur.dpuf

It might be painting, acting, dance, writing, scrapbooking, designing, anything that fulfills that need. - See more at: http://yourkickasslife.com/coaching/11-things-happy-women-do#sthash.717ZUJur.dpuf

Connect the disconnected : My DIY project

How many times you have found yourself in situations where you buy a furniture item that looks nice individually but together with other items look disconnected?
I had a sofa and these two chairs that didn't go together, and I simply love these 2 pieces.

I visited almost all the stores in Athens to find pillows that can reduce the gap between the two. Couldn't find anything of my taste. Either they were too expensive or they were huge or material too bad. Hence I decided to MAKE my own pillows.

 Now they look bright and made for each other...:)
Any comments?

Car Commercials : A scary impression on our kids

Alright, now this might come as a surprise to most of you. Car commercial? How can that create a wrong impression? Read on and you'll know...

Have you ever watched any car commercial closely? as in, as seriously as a kid watches? They all convey just one message. When we win in sports or business or in other aspects of life, no matter how good a person we are, underneath we are saying to ourselves that I am better than you are. Drive a faster car, earn more to be better. You are what you own.

Now does that make sense? Today's role models are Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce or Calvin Klein. People with huge wealth and outstanding talent. We are not following Buddha, Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi. We are not concerned about character but have our eyes fixed on wealth, power and status.

Our kids look for role models. They learn a lot by imitating them. Its only natural. My daughter, at the age of three, imitates Superman or Captain America, totally on her mood.

So the point is, Is it only the rich and famous we want them to emulate? What kind of world are we creating? 

Are DOWN products worth it?

Few years back, in India, I always wore woolen sweaters or polyester fill jackets during winters and used woolen blankets or cotton quits. After I came to USA, I was introduced to the products stuffed with down or body feathers. They are supposedly better insulators giving three times warmth per ounce of synthetics, which means lighter and a warmer product. Quite excited with the concept, I never thought where did these feathers come from? and do I want to support the industry that harvested them?

Just a few days back, I saw this picture and since then, I have been quite disturbed.

Some birds are live plucked, some are plucked after they are killed and some live plucked many times before they are killed. So yes, their story of production is quite disturbing as any other animal sourced product.

 Warmth is essential to our lives. But using our fellow animals for our own benefit is not right. We have gained the intellect to create alternatives that are ethical and cruelty free like synthetic down, down alternative, polyester fill and high tech fabrics like Thinsulate.

I am now determined to make my household and clothing feather free. And going forward, if any new animal commodity excites me, I will first learn how they are raised and treated in farms and factories.

These expensive bi- products are very profitable, better insulators, but surely not worth anyone's life.

Don't RUN so fast, you will FALL...

My daughter runs fast. Seriously fast. When she was over one year of age, " Don't run so fast, you will fall" was a phrase I used all the time. And in spite of my warning, she would run and fall and bruise her knees and cry. One time, when her knee was hurt, she was in such a shock, she retired to bed early evening and woke up straight in the morning.

Running FAST was something she enjoyed, untill one evening. We were playing in the play ground and I ran, when I heard a voice from behind " Mom, stop! Don't run, you will fall" and I turned back and shouted "No I won't, I am careful, you run too" and she replied "No, Mumma I will fall"

Ouch!! Now that came as a shocker. Have I unintentionally planted fear in her mind? Because I am afraid of her getting hurt, have I made my fear her fear as well?

It was a damage that needed to be corrected before it got worse. I made myself understand that children learn best from natural consequences and falling now will help her to assess risk more accurately in future. Fostering confidence in her body now will free her from self doubt later.

I don't use that phrase anymore. To encourage her, I run with her, just to show running fast doesn't hurt. And when she says she will fall, I reply back saying she's wearing magic shoes that will prevent her from falling and if she does fall Its OK, we can take care of that, we have magic band aids :)

How knowingly or unknowingly we do things that negatively effects our children. How many of you faced same or similar situations and what you did about it?

Crying it Out : How it worked!!

Source: Unknown

When my daughter was seven months old, each night she would wake up every two hours and cry. Initially blaming teething pain, we rocked her, fed her, comforted her (sometimes dosed her with infant Tylenol) and she would smile and go back to sleep. This continued to happen until one night, my husband, Puneet and I made a decision: that night it was going to stop.

Our daughter's Pediatrician had told us, after 6 months, babies can sleep through the night (5-6 hrs) and they don't need to be fed. They wake up at night by habit and at that young age they still don't know how to go back to sleep on their own, so they cry. They need to be sleep trained. A skill, like any other skill, that they can master, if given an opportunity.

Coming back to that night, after five minutes of crying, we gave her a bottle with water in it. According to the Pediatrician, this would gradually, break her habit of being fed at night and she wouldn't bother waking up again. Well, Aanya, didn't even drink a sip. She got furious.

Puneet put her in her crib, and she cried. Oh God! She cried. I had never thought I would let my child cry it out. It sure takes a lot of strength to ignore your baby's cry and I felt awfully selfish. She fell asleep after 40 minutes of crying and I awake much longer, wondering if she knew we still loved her. Maybe we destroyed her trust. I suddenly had these kinds of negative feelings. This was the first time she was denied something she wanted badly, her parents comfort.

The next morning, Aanya was her smiley self. Come bedtime, she slept 7-8 hours straight. And since then every night, she's gone to sleep on her own, even if she woke up she slept back on her own. And since then, we've been having a good night's rest.

They say the short-term pain of a few tears is far outweighed by the long-term advantages. I am happy we took this step and helped our daughter be independent at that little age.

What NOT To Wear

A frumpy or scantily dressed Women always make me sad. I believe, Women are beautiful and they should dress the body they have and not the body they want. We all have potential to look amazing because we are amazing. I am not a fashionista, but I do have a sense of what not to wear in public.
The following are a big No, not even for grocery shopping. 

1. Leggings without a dress: Please don't get confused between leggings and pants. I see lot of women wearing leggings with a short shirt. If we see any part of your rear, you have gone too far.

2. Crocs: I fail to understand why these are so popular. They look so ugly with weird colors. Grown-ups should wear real shoes. And why wear them at work? Work is supposed to be a serious affair and crocs shows how casual you are to your work.

3. Tight T-shirts: Or undersized T shirts. We don't want to see every roll in your body. I see lot of young girls opting for an undersized shirt and then keep pulling them down. Come on, they don't make you beautiful, they just take away beauty from you.

4. Nightgowns: Some may disagree from me, but I dislike nightgowns. They are clumsy and uncomfortable to sleep. Opt for a PJ pant instead, but please don't wear them outside either.

5. Oversized sweatshirts : They look like a blanket in which you can swim. Sleeves long and hanging down and girls pulling down even harder to cover the fingers. They could be comfortable but they don't flatter the figure at all.

6. Short shorts : They are inappropriate and give wrong ideas to people. Shorts look nice when they cover up your butt and in front its not all bunched up.Irrespective of how hot it is outside, shorter shorts won't help.

Dress well, Ladies! Get Pretty, girls!!