Beautiful Ad Campaigns...

Times have changed. The way people think, is changing. The brands and their ad campaigns are changing. Usually people, including me, just mute or skip the ads that play before the YouTube videos. It's very rare that any commercial make us think about our self. But times are changing and I have noticed this change.
Brands like Dove, Pantene and Always have started emotive advertising campaigns, where they have shown Women in a better light, a stronger light, a beautiful light. Through their campaign they remind us, we are beautiful, strong, we have dreams to fulfill, we don't always need to be sorry and doing something 'like a girl' is a GOOD thing. We must be who we are. They are so inspiring and I appreciate them for their message that made me stop and think.

THINK BIG AND SHINE STRONG - PANTENE

LIKE A GIRL- ALWAYS

Of all these beautiful commercials, I can relate to this one more. I wrote a blog post last year when this commercial just came out. It reminds us to be who we are and doesn't matter what others say.

NOT SORRY- PANTENE

A MAN'S BOSS, A WOMAN'S BOSSY- PANTENE

YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU THINK- DOVE

And my favorite is this one. It's simply Wow. What a beautiful reminder that Others see the beauty within us which we fail to see our self sometimes.  Its a reminder that...

1. The imperfections we see in ourselves are not obvious to others and that our biggest insecurity may be something no one has ever noticed.
2. It's not just about how we look, it's about the impression we make and attitude we exude which shape a person's opinion of both our inner and outer beauty. Remarks such as "she had a spark in her eyes" is not just physical beauty. It has lot to do with personality as well.
3. We focus on the negative things we notice in ourselves, like double chin, dark eye circles or crocked nose while we are more likely to see the good in others. We need to see the good in ourselves as well as others.
4. We should learn to recognize and acknowledge ourselves as the beautiful person that we are. It's very likely that we've never fully grasped or even come close to understanding just how beautiful we are, both internally and externally.

What is your opinion on these campaigns? Let's chat.

2 weeks just Me and Aanya (my 4yo): Challenges Faced...

Being a Parent is tough. And being a Single Parent is tougher. I have high respect for single parents and I know the challenges they face every single day of their lives. But do I understand those challenges? Probably not. I got the taste of raising my 4 yo child single-handedly for 2 weeks when my husband had gone to India. Yes, he travels a lot, but 2 weeks overseas was a long time.

So, what are the challenges that I faced in his absence:

1. I had to play with Aanya all the time. Keeping her constructively occupied was too challenging.
2. As much as I limit her screen time, during these 2 weeks there was less limitation. 
3. I ate zucchini for almost 3 days continuously. Yes, cooking for a single person is boring and how much less you cook, it's ample for a few days. 
4. Unfortunately those 2 weeks were super hot with temperature soaring above 95F, outdoor activities were too less. In short, we were mostly banging our heads indoors.
5. The house, that I always try to keep clean and organized was in chaos.
6. The refrigerator was full of little little boxes of leftovers.
7. Though my girl was such a good girl, I lost my patience a number of times.
8. The chores that he does, I had to do it. As in, doing vacuum cleaning and bathroom cleaning.  
9. After Aanya would go off to sleep, sitting alone, quietly, no one to talk to, made life dull. The biggest pro of marriage is, you have a partner to talk to and listen to. These 2 weeks, I was just Into my world of thoughts ;-)
10. And finally, probably the biggest one, Aanya developed pink eye and taking care of a child's infected eye alone is a nightmare. 

One thing I understood, raising a child ALONE is a difficult job. Did I learn anything from this experience? Yes.

1. It’s easy to lose your cool when you have to be “on” all the time. Don’t yell, because it’s not healthy for the child and you’ll regret it afterward. 
2. After one chaotic morning, I realised the only thing that has to be done in the morning is feed Aanya and myself a good breakfast and get a shower. No one is keeping a score of unmade beds or dirty dishes but me.
3. Always be prepared. I never leave the house without a water bottle and a snack. I learnt it's good to carry crayons, coloring books or little games in your purse. It was upto only me to entertain my child while we waited to be seated for dinner in a restaurant.  
4. Plan play dates, activities and supplies for the activities well in advance. So that when your partner goes away on a business trip, thinking part is already done, only execution part remains.

One Positive Response....

When we were working on the lawn of our house after we first moved in, we were greeted by a very friendly neighbor. He got his lawn mower and started mowing our lawn. He did it a couple of times until we bought ours and even lent us his edger and trimmer without our asking. Yes, we have some very nice neighbors. But that's not what this post is about. Each time I see him and ask how he is, he  responds in the most enthusiastic way "I am fantastic, thanks", and it always put me in a good mood to see him. And somehow, he is always the first person to greet us "Hello neighbors!", he shouts from his garage.

This makes me wonder, a lot of times our response to how are you doing is something like "hanging in there" or in Hindi we say "bus, chal raha hai". Sure we all are busy in our lives and dealing with everyday stress, but now I realise it's not always necessary to hint at that. There is a quote from Mindy Kaling's book, Is everyone hanging out without me, that says

“I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.” 

The same neighbor, who broke his leg once and then his arm, would still maintain the same cheerfulness and response. And his one positive response has such a profound impact on another person's (I am sure) life. Come to think of it, simple positive responses steers people away from the usual complaints of busy-ness. If someone is happy and carefree, the other person is less likely to add bad news or negative feelings to a conversation. Right?

So start practice saying, "I am Super", "I am fantastic", "Couldn't be better" and see the difference....

Have a wonderful weekend....with much positivity!

What you want to be...when you grow up?

Aanya is presently too young to understand this question, but very sweetly she asks "Mummy, can I be a Doctor when I grow up?" "Well, of course you can Sweetheart. But why do you want to be a Doctor?" I ask. "So that I can give you and others shots, like the way I get every time I visit the Doctor." Wow! Injection, what a motivation! Not bad. I smile.

No one asks me this question now...a sign of growing old, I believe :-) Remember the time when we were asked this question all the time! Teachers, friends, parents, grand-parents, relatives and of course, we did indeed pose the same question to ourselves a hundred times! What will I be some day? Our creative side wanted us to be an artist, designer, dancer, or a writer, our sensitive and caring side wanted us to be a doctor, our engineer parents inspiring us to be an engineer. This was a query so filled with delightful promises of a future still hidden but so within reach! Yes, there were doubts, the answer also changed from time to time...but it was all there for us to grab and become what we wanted to be.

What I realise when I look back, is that, during those days in most of us there was a maverick dream, something inspired. I mean very few of us wanted to be an accountant, a manager or a bank official! Majority of us wanted to be an artist or an athlete or some other fun job that started with an “a.” But typically that artist or athlete instead became a techie or a manager.
Growing up has its drawback...and such dreams are perhaps its first causality. There is a quote from a Bollywood movie: I, me aur mein, "I always wanted to learn Piano, dreamt of becoming a Musician when I grow up and then I grew up, dreams changed". Yes, ambitions do change, become modified or sometimes plain inability or lack of right opportunities stop us from doing what we once thought "we were born to do". And sometimes we start running after money, success and leave behind our dreams. And we just go where our life leads us. Why is it that very few people get to pursue the dreams of their childhood?

So, here I am...all matured and mom of one...and why do I think of this today? Maybe because inside me there is still this little voice asking me, what do you want to be now. And I guess most of us still do think of this....Is this my calling in life? Even today, in the middle of life, busy with job, kids, socializing, we still sometimes get jolted by this sudden thought, this ain't my calling...this is not what I wanted to do.

I believe, we can still connect to that child within us and bring some of that dream to life, and even if we can't, this question itself still can inspire us to some new adventure! bigger and better maybe.

And that's why I always say "Don't ever stop being a dreamer"
 

Damn These Pollens!!

Sunshine, warm temperatures, daffodils, and blooming plants of all varieties...Spring! Aaha!... Most joyous time of the year, Right? Wrong. To few people like us, this is the most miserable time of the year. Trust me, it's not funny, when you try to sleep with a congested nose or itchy eyes or scratchy throat, that too every single day. It takes you back to those sleepless nights, which you experienced when you became a parent. The difference is, as a new parent you could still manage to steal a nap but with pollen congested nose....No chance! You can just try to sleep and wait and wait and wait....

Day before yesterday, I don't remember if I slept, both me and my husband were trying to breathe through our mouth and then coughing ourselves out due to dry throat and then drinking a sip of water.....yes! that's how our night went. In the afternoon, when I went to pick up Aanya from school, my eyes were literally shutting down while driving. Yes, I know, I know. It wasn't safe. I had to stop the car in between and wash my face with cold water. Thankfully I had cold water in the car. So you see, I told you earlier, Pollen allergy isn't funny.

Yes, we have been taking Claritin and nasal sprays, limiting our outdoor activities, keeping our indoors clean, clothes clean....probably that's why the symptoms aren't too bad. But the allergies are crappy....

Before coming to US, I always thought, our immune system would only react if a harmful substance, such as bacteria, attacks the body. But our immune systems are working too hard and reacting even when relatively harmless substances, such as pollen, are present. Infact, I never knew it could cause allergy. When I speak to my folks in India, they too find it difficult to picture the intensity of such a small substance. Just to give you an idea....

All that yellow thing in water and on pathway is POLLEN.

Damn These Pollens!!We want to breathe normally again sooooon!!

Its the little things in LIFE...

Aanya, do you know it's snowing...
Everything is white out there...
What??

So, we wake up last morning with a sudden snow shower. Yes, snow is a rare thing here.

Let's wear our jackets and shoes and go outside, Let's catch snow flakes....
Yayy!! Yes, lets go.

As we were wearing out jackets, Puneet asked if we were really going out and my answer in affirmative made him smile. I like it when you get excited about little things. I can never do that. He said. I remembered, last year when it snowed, how Aanya and I had ventured outside just to collect snow in her little bucket.

Snow fun 2014

Yesterday, it was just little flurries and before it stopped, I wanted Aanya to get the feel of it.

I am glad we got excited about the snow. Its these little things in life, little moments in life, that are actually not little because they make you smile and get sealed in your memory for future smiles...Infact, come to think of it, life is a bundle of these little things and we all get excited about OUR little things, which for others, may appear foolishness.
For me, few of my little things are...Watching sunrise every morning, cooking new things, my DIY projects, Aanya's artwork, Table Tennis, Thai food, impromptu picnics by the lake or park...

What are your little things? Things that really excite you? If you haven't figured it out, do it now. Don't let your passion and enthusiasm get mistaken for foolishness....an important lesson our kids teach us! Right?

The Day Well Spent....

Where that day gone went....Yet I know that it's time well spent!

What does it mean to you to spend a day well?  Is it time with your family or friends enjoying each others’ company no matter what you are doing?  Is it being alone with a good book and a warm cup of tea?  Is it busying yourself with projects you’ve been meaning to complete and now have a chance to?  The list of how we find ourselves spending the day is as different as each of us, as complex
as our thoughts can make them and as simple as our desires present. No matter what we do, what we experience or what we accomplish, in order for us to feel that it has been a day well spent must include one thing; Happiness. Right?

It was a beautiful day today, the weather was perfect for outdoors. We headed to The Lake Herrick in the morning, which had a water front and several jogging trails...Aanya had taken her binoculars and was keen on watching birds....

The morning, couldn't have been better. And in the evening, as per the weekend ritual, went to the Ramsey center to play Table tennis and to do little bit of exercise.

The day ended with a bowl of cheesy vegetable pasta....!

Oh wait! It hasn't ended yet. Off to read this book now for a while...:)

 Hope you all too had a great day today, in whatever way you wanted! Wishing you a wonderful week ahead :)

The Short Hair Experiment...

Like a snake, my medium-length hair slid from my body as the hairstylist chopped it off. My reflection was no longer recognizable. 

I was elated. I was reborn.

I decided to cut my hair because I thought it would lift up my spirits and fulfill my need for change.
In order for a woman to truly find her voice and understand who she is, she must do something extreme. Something beyond her comfort zone, something that allows her to adapt into what once seemed impossible. I think as curious adults we should push our boundaries, explore things that feel uncomfortable, in order to see progress.
Now I can say I did something beyond the ordinary. Something that caused such chaos, creativity and courage for me...

So, the question now arises, Whether the experiment worked or failed? And the answer is, It failed for me. Yes, very soon I realized, short hair is not my thing. Not because, it made me question my femininity or people judged me. None of those. 

The reasons I don't like the short hair are:

1. You must wash and style it every single day, or it looks greasy. If you have longer hair, though, washing three times a week is good enough, and in fact, is good for preserving the condition and color of your hair.
2. I miss the pretty braids! I want to wear a braid.
3. After a few months you're stumped on what to do with your hair because it's not long enough to put up, yet an awkward length to wear down.
4. On a bad hair day, braid, ponytail or updo just isn’t an option when you have short hair. My hair is naughty, straight and unruly, so I have more bad-hair days than I care to count.

In all, I miss my long hair. But the great thing about hair is that it grows. Nothing is permanent. It’s parallel to life. Everything we encounter and experience is temporary. The lessons they teach us are permanent, though -- forever implanted in our memories for future reference.

Meals Tied to me Forever: My Breakfast Favorites...

Today, I had boiled sprouted moong dal for breakfast and it made me so happy. As in, real happy. I enjoy having sprouts for breakfast. Don't you feel, there are certain meals that are tied to you forever? Meals that are healthy, fills up your tummy, satisfy your taste buds and more importantly are Enjoyable?

There are lots of people who start their day with juices or smoothies. I am not one of them. Honestly, I would rather chew my breakfast than drink it. Sometimes, it feels like there is pressure to do what everyone else is doing or talking about but that wouldn’t make breakfast enjoyable. In order to look forward to breakfast, it needs to consist of something you really want to have.

Here, are my current five favorites:

• Boiled Sprouted Beans ( Moong dal or Kala Chana)

Soak it overnight. Boil it in the morning. Dress them up with diced tomatoes, chopped onion, cilantro and a teaspoon of lemon juice. I can’t imagine my breakfast life without it. It’s so easy and makes so much sense. These are the platonic ideal of any morning meal.

• Poha (with peas and potatoes)

 I always have boiled potatoes in my fridge. That ways, making poha becomes so easy and fast. Adding peas and peanuts makes it a powerhouse of nutrients. And we look forward to having it on all weekends. Its like a ritual here :)

• Avocado Sandwich

 My favorite sandwich. I can eat it with bread or buns. A layer of omelet (or fried egg), sliced tomatoes, sliced avocado and sliced cheese. Yumm!! Ready in just 5 min. The yellow, green and red color of the sandwich leaves me drooling and raises my appetite.

• Chilla or Pancakes ( Moong dal or besan or mixed dal)

Besan with grated tomato and onion, green chilli and cilantro. This crunchy chilla is one of the most filling meal you can have. Again it can be made in jiffy and is super easy. To make moong dal or mixed dal chilla, I soak dal at night and grind it to paste in the morning or sometimes at night itself. Hence cooking becomes simple in the morning.

• Bread Toast with Jam

Simplest breakfast ever. When I don't feel like cooking or I am in a real hurry, this is what I have. Whole wheat bread toast with Jam. Simple and delicious.


So that is my way of staying healthy, filling up with good warming filling breakfast.
I am curious to find what you deem to be a good way to start the day, or are you a Cappuccino, Bagel or Donut person?

You often meet your FATE on the road you take to avoid it...

“You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.” ― Goldie Hawn

I read this quote today and smiled! You know why? This actress, summarized the major events of my life in one simple sentence :) It is so true.

Going back in time, when my parents thought, it was the right time for me to get married. They placed an advertisement in the matrimonial section of Times of India and waited for prospective groom for their daughter, that is Me. What is it that you are looking for, in your life partner? They asked me. And I replied, I am not sure, But I don't want to marry a doctor or a lawyer or a businessman. And he shouldn't be very tall. I don't want to look like a kid when I stand next to him.
Well, my parents understood the first requirement but they could not comprehend the second one. Why height, a big concern? They thought. I rejected few good proposals( according to them) just because the guy was really tall. And somewhere they were unhappy with my decision (Did not say anything, as ultimately it was my life). And......It so happened.....I got in touch with Puneet ( who happened to be my school friend) and after few months one day he proposed me. And I said "Yes". We got married. He is btw 6'3''. Way above my cut off limit :)) The one thing that I avoided, was written in my destiny. Till today, we all laugh at my silly requirement.

And in the year 2010, when I was expecting Aanya... we had just shifted to Yale, New Haven. It was a new place, new hospital, new doctors and I had no clue which gynecologist should I choose. The management there suggested, I get seen by all delivering doctors in rotation at every visit. This way, I won't be uncomfortable during delivery ( as sometimes your gynecologist is not the one delivering). I liked the idea, only on one condition. I did not want to be seen by any male doctors. I successfully avoided meeting both the male doctors of the department....untill the due date. Puneet, took me to the hospital as I was experiencing some pain. To my luck, all the female doctors were busy, one of the male doctor was assigned to see me as it was an emergency. I almost fainted hearing that :) Well, anyways, it was just initial check not the delivery, I thought. I wasn't finished thinking, when the doctor gladly announced "Time for the baby now". Nooooo, I wasn't expecting this. My baby would be delivered by the other male doctor( on call, that day).

I know, you all are smiling at me, right now. Yes, the baby was delivered by the male doctor (Though, I must say, he was really really really good). I tried to avoid both the male doctors of the department but was ultimately been seen by both the last and final day :)

Moral of the stories: You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. Don't let fear decide your fate.

First lesson of Gratitude: Generosity

How many parents like me face this dilemma: We want to give our children everything we didn't have. But we don't want them to be ungrateful or, as others might say, “spoiled.”

The idea of spoiling my child is incongruous to the parent I want to be. I learnt gratitude because I never had so many things and was thankful for whatever little I had. So by giving my child what I never had—so many toys, boots, fashionable jeans—would she be destined to become ungrateful?

The question consumes me for a lot of time. Now that she's almost 4 yrs old and understand generosity, compassion, and the importance of helping others, its the right time to begin the lesson of being grateful by 1.) Donating toys and clothes generously. ( I wouldn't use the word 'old' toys/clothes because donating not necessarily have to be of old things.)

How do you encourage to do that?
When it comes to donating their own things, it's common for younger kids (and some grown ups too) to put up a fuss. Children often grow attached to their possessions, so it's natural for them to not want to part with them. I had read in few articles preaching gratitude, that the thumb rule should be: Buy one new, give away one old. BUT I don't like this idea. Why should buying be associated with giving away? I think kids should be taught to give away things they no longer use. Simple.

I encouraged my daughter to donate things that she no longer needs it, irrespective of whether I am buying a new one or not. A couple of days back, I brought a big box and had a below conversation with Aanya:
Me:  Can you separate all the toys and books that you no longer play with, in this box.
Aanya: Why?
Me:  We will give it to someone who needs it. It would make him/her happy and would appreciate having it. And you'll be able to focus more on the toys and books you love.
Aanya: It will make someone happy?
Me: Yes, certainly.
Aanya: Ummm...OK.

To my surprise, she gladly separated 7-8 toys, almost emptying her rack. I asked her if she was sure because she won't get them back and she replied " Yes, Mumma. I don't need them"....WOW!! That was simple! :)
It didnot end there. The next day, she took out a dress herself and asked me "Mumma, Can you please give this dress too to someone. I don't like it anymore"

Till few months back, I used to separate things myself, in front of her. And from now onwards, I am encouraging her to take the lead. You can say, trying to force decision-making and awareness among all her choices, hoping it would breed gratitude some day.

Kids can learn to be grateful for what they have by being good to others, and giving back to others. Being generous can bring out the best in kids.

To my Mother on her birthday

Birthday Celebration two years back at Urbana, IL

I write a lot about being a mother on this blog. And although my daughter is very often my main subject here, I would not be the mother I am today without the presence of one of the most selfless and beautiful women I know in my life– my own mom. 

Now, I can’t say that I had the kind of relationship where I wanted to confide in my mother about my problems, secrets, thoughts or feelings. No, I was a little more closed off than that. But, every mother and daughter share a different connection from the next.

For me, my mother has always been someone who comforted me. She was always there to take care of me when I was sick. She was always there to teach me the morning of a test– for hours at a time. She was always there at my school games, cheering me on. She was always there to help me settle down at my graduation school, post graduation school, first job...always! She was always there whenever I called her and even when I didn't. She was always there to watch movies, go shopping with me. She was there– that was what mattered. She was present. Always, always and always. My clothes were always ironed before school, and she would always pack my favorite food in lunchbox.  She made me feel like I was the most important human being in the world– and maybe, to her, I was.
 
And when I gave birth to my child, I remember I wanted the presence of my rock– my mother. She was there with me for over 3 months. She did everything to make my journey so far smooth.
She is the most selfless and caring human being I have ever known and if I am half the mother she is to me then I am proud.
So, Happy Birthday Mom. I love you. Thank you for always, always being at my side and having my back. Thank you for being my role model– you’re simply the best.

And because I don't say "Thank You" enough, I want to list all the things for which I am so grateful:

For sticking with me through those hellacious teenage years that I was horrible to you… For forgiving me in all the ways I hurt you and for not holding them against me... For bearing with me through all of the times I thought I knew better… For being my #1 prayer warrior... For always putting others before yourself... For treating Puneet as your own son, and loving him just as much… For being the.most.amazing Nani to Aanya that everyone could ever dream of... For telling me I am beautiful… For believing that I am beautiful…

Thank you, Mom!
Happiest of Birthdays, and May this year be your best one yet.

Things Husbands of Mothers should DO....

This post is to all the husbands who are also fathers, who work long hours full time while their wives take care of the children at home. So all you dads/husbands, this is for you :)

We know you do your best. We know you work long hours. We know that at the end of the day, sometimes you need a break too. But here’s the thing: society appreciates you. And while you’re viewed as the high and mighty “provider,”  your wife –the stay at home mom– is unappreciated, unpaid and viewed as being unambitious.

Raising a family is a team effort. The two of you got into parenthood together, so both of you have to make it work together. And for some families, having one working parent and one stay at home parent is the best solution. So while you reap the glory of being the “provider,” try to sing the praises of your wife who happily takes the backseat, puts everyone before herself, and  smile to watch as the people she loves shine.

So here are some things that Husbands should do for their Wives.

1. Let her feel little. In a world where your wife pulls little munchkins in tight for hugs, where she heals booboos with magic kisses, and she typically has someone sitting on her lap all hours of the day…sometimes she needs to feel little. I guarantee you that she misses what it felt like to be protected rather than to be the protector. Sometimes she needs you to give her a bear hug so she can remember what it feels like to be little and loved big.

2. Motherhood is mentally exhausting. Yes, you spend your days working hard to support your family and she appreciates that—trust me, she does. She knows she cannot do this without you. But far too often what she is doing is being taken for granted and under appreciated. Be her support. Be her constant. Motherhood is hard, it is exhausting, and speaking in baby language all day long is not easy. At the very least she deserves to shower in peace.

3. Acknowledge her accomplishments. You likely have a boss who acknowledges your successes and a paycheck that rewards you at the end of the month. You know what she has? A handful of children who take and take and take and very rarely give back. And then—she also has you. If you do not acknowledge that she can cook dinner while breastfeeding the baby and working on homework with your oldest all at the same time, then no one will. She needs to know that you are aware of the fact that she somehow grows octopus arms and that she can multitask like it’s nobody’s business. Come on, you know you couldn’t pull off the same.

4. If she's pregnant, be present. If you have the kind of job that allows you to make your own hours, try to leave early so you can come home early. She is likely dead tired at the end of the day. Her feet are swollen, her body is aching and she is carrying this baby for both of you. When you are home, be home—be present. And try to appreciate the fact that she is sacrificing her body for this child—your child.

5. She takes care of everyone, sometimes she needs to be taken care of. Don’t forget that she needs someone to rub her back, dry her tears, and listen to her words. She is more than just a continuation of her children. She is more than just your counterpart. She needs to be at the center sometimes too.

6. If you are lucky she will do the same for you. Because raising a family is a team effort and she knows that.

How my Car is always Clutter free and Organised....

Today I decided to clean the interior of my Car. As a habit I do it once every month. So, I gathered all the cleaning supplies....which were.... the Vacuum Cleaner, Febreez and All cleaning wipes. Yes, my car is always clutter free and organized and I just need to swipe and vacuum clean once in a while.

For me, Messy car is a secret shame. So how do I keep it clean when I have a kid who needs many things to be entertained and snacks to be eaten by everyone on the go. Here's what I do:

1. I have this Organiser on the back seat and I keep things in it that is needed on regular basis like snacks and toys for commutes.

2. A little trash bin. No matter how much we try, sometimes feels impossible keeping trash like unneeded receipts, wrappers and  plastic bags from building up in the car. Right?....Wrong. We trash it here immediately and later put all this collected trash in a plastic bag and toss it off. It has a little double sided tape below it, so it doesn't move while driving.

3. Reusable shopping bag. I always carry reusable shopping bags whenever I go grocery or produce shopping. I am against using plastic bags. They are not environment friendly and simply add to unattended clutter.

4. Water bottle. I always carry water bottle with me in the car. No soda or mineral water bottle for me when I am thirsty. Another way to reduce clutter.

5. Paper towels and Tissues and air freshener. There is a story ( not a pleasing one) behind carrying this. When Aanya was very little, she threw-up in her car seat once. We stopped by a Mac Donald's to cleanup. Unfortunately, the toilets there had no napkins or tissues and I had a tough time cleaning her car seat. Since then paper towel, tissues and a freshener is always in my car.

So you see, keeping your car organised and clutter free isn't difficult. A fifteen minute vacuum, dashboard and window swipe every once a month and that's it :) 

Hope this piece of information is helpful. Do share if you have any other tips.

Friendship Day.

Winnie the Pooh, the world's Ambassador of Friendship

What defines Friendship?
I'll start with a story that I think best defines Friendship. About 12 years back, during a train journey from Chennai to Hyderabad (along with all my post graduation classmates) I suddenly fell sick with severe menstrual cramps. Restlessness, Nausea and Cramps. I was in a bad shape. Unfortunately, the medicines that I took back then, were not with me or with anyone in the train. So basically, I had to survive the journey without medication. Nevertheless, after sometime, the pain subsided and I was asked to sleep. It was night and all had gone to sleep in their respective berths. The ONLY person, who was awake was my bestie. She was awake the entire journey, sitting by my side, slowly pressing my belly. She ensured I get a good rest. I had never experienced such a loving and caring gesture in my life. And clearly, I'll never forget it. Thank you, Bestie!

So friendship is not just loving and caring gesture its also about making you laugh during stressful times too...
During my B.Sc final examination, I was stuck at a question whose answer I didnot know. While I was thinking hard, I saw my another bestie peeping into my answer sheet, trying to cheat/copy. I whispered to her " I don't know the answer". She whispered back " What? Why didn't you study and come?" And that made me laugh out loudly. Got scolded by the teacher, but it surely made me relax. Thank you, Bestie! 

Friendship is also about taking your relationship forward...
My husband, suddenly one day popped the question " Richa, will you marry me?" and then there was no looking backwards. I got a friend and husband both in one :) Thank you Hubby!

Friendship Day...
A great day for celebrating the fact that friends make the world a better place. It is a reminder that friends are an important part of a healthy, happy life.

Fun ways to celebrate Friendship Day.

1. Call someone you haven’t contacted in awhile and catch up.
2.  Tell your friends what they mean to you.
3.  Make a list of friends throughout the years and marvel at the impact they have had on your life.
4. Create friendship cards with inspiring sayings on them, ideally something you come up with about what friendship is to you.
5. Ask yourself: What are the qualities that make for a good friend? And then ask if you embody them.

Happy Friendship Day to You!!

Opposites Attract: True or False?

Today at Publix, I overheard a funny conversation between a couple and it made me wonder how different they were from each other. One wanted to go to pub and socialize, other wanted to sit at home and watch TV. They were different but were together (for now). And why not? We all have heard opposites attract. Right?

Lets give some food for thought here. Is similar tastes in food and movies important to hold a relationship together AND Can different hobbies and passion drive you apart?

Alright, I think opposites attract only in movies and fairy tales. An aristocrat and a commoner, An educated and a stupid, Beauty and the beast. Two totally dissimilar people celebrate their (extreme) differences and live happily ever after. True love wins! A perfect world.

Generally speaking, I think opposites don't attract at all. We like people who are like us. And the more we have in common with someone, the more likely we are to get along. Similar people are more likely to get together in the first place and are also more likely to find satisfaction in their relationship. Ofcourse, that doesn't mean they have to be identical, but I think successful couples share similar backgrounds, core values, beliefs, attitudes about what they like and dislike. Basically we fall for someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal, and grow.

And why just couples, our best friends are someone with whom we share similar thinking. Perhaps, they are longest lasting because you don’t end up sniping at each other over things you hold dear. It’s much easier to get along with someone with whom you agree rather than someone that you don’t.

So, Don't you think "Opposites- Attract"rule, should be changed to "Likes- Attract" rule in the choice of long term partners or friendships?

Like A Girl...

Always #LikeAGirl is one of the female empowerment ad that has grown viral and I loved the way its shown, as I can so relate to it. 

It reminds me of an incident happened with me when I was young. I have an elder brother and I would always try to tag along with him wherever he went. I tried to play with his friends, go on picnics with his friends, in fact, my Mom used to sometimes make me wear his clothes after he had out grown them. So basically, between boys, I used to consider myself one of them. Girl yet not girl like. 

When I reached that adolescent age and started growing physically like a girl, someone made a first comment - " Richa, you look like a girl" and at that time, I was confused.  Basically, I did not like it. No, I am not like a girl. I thought. I am strong like boys. So yes, 'like a girl' was an insult to me. I was little ashamed of myself. I had started doing things more like boys. Rather copying them. It surely had a huge impact on my self confidence. 

While playing table tennis, someone would shout " Richa, don't play like a girl", while running, someone would shout "Richa, don't run like a girl, run fast" , "Richa, don't cry like a girl, be a sport" and so on...

It was only later, much much later, did I understand...I do things like a girl, because I am a girl. And I am amazing.  I am tough, I have a heart, I am talented, I am gutsy and I am absolutely proud of who I am. I do things, the way I would do things.

And as the girl rightly said in the ad" If somebody else says that running like a girl or kicking like a girl or shooting like a girl is something that you shouldn't be doing, that's their problem, because if you are still scoring, still getting evolved with time, and you are still being first, you are doing it right, doesn't matter what they say"

 

My little guide towards Happy Mommy!

Mothers are expected to do everything. Look great, raise superstar kids, keep an impeccable house, be the perfect wife and if working, make good salaries. And if that's not enough, make time for their friends who feel left out. It is easy to get caught up in these everyday demands.

And that's why I feel, being happy is a CHOICE. We have to choose to engage in activities that help us to see the lighter side of life. I have a few suggestions below. They sure lift up my mood and I hope they will do the same to you.

1. Take out time for yourself : Get a hair cut or a massage. Go for a coffee ALONE. Read a book you've always wanted to read. I understand, its difficult and that's why I said,  you have to make decision to create time a day purely for yourself. You can probably wake up little early.
Just do this and see the difference.

2. Exercise: A quote that I read on pinterest " Exercise give you endorphins, Endorphins make you happy". Exercise does make you more energetic. I don't go to gym, BUT I walk and it gives me an emotional boost and keeps me relaxed.

3. Express yourself creatively: Do something creative that lights you up. It could be painting, dancing, writing, designing, anything that fulfills that need. Keeping yourself engaged in meaningful work is one of the largest part of figuring out how to be happy.

4. Nuture friendship- Connect with other women : Doesn't it make you smile when you talk to someone and say "What? You too" Its important to connect with other women. Life becomes so simple.

5. Sleep: Don't you feel super when you get a good night's sleep? When you wake up and don't reach for caffeine first thing in the morning. Regular sleep is so so essential for happy you. Mom's of young kids, don't get enough sleep ( for obvious reason) and here I feel husband's can help, like mine always did when my daughter was little. At times, he would ask me to sleep in the guest room( away from disturbances) and he took care of our daughter at night. I would wake up fresh! relaxed! on top of the world.

6. Lightening the overload: Its OK if the laundry is not done, Its OK if the house is not cleaned, Its OK if dirty dishes keep lying in the sink, Its OK if you don't cook. Don't be too hard on yourself and try to do less more often.

7. Hugs and snuggles:  Most most important! My day is incomplete without this. Getting hugs from my little one is so precious. I love it. Makes me believe, I am good.

And now its YOUR TURN. Have you been doing any or all of the above? Share how you add joy to your everyday.

It might be painting, acting, dance, writing, scrapbooking, designing, anything that fulfills that need. - See more at: http://yourkickasslife.com/coaching/11-things-happy-women-do#sthash.717ZUJur.dpuf

It might be painting, acting, dance, writing, scrapbooking, designing, anything that fulfills that need. - See more at: http://yourkickasslife.com/coaching/11-things-happy-women-do#sthash.717ZUJur.dpuf

Are DOWN products worth it?

Few years back, in India, I always wore woolen sweaters or polyester fill jackets during winters and used woolen blankets or cotton quits. After I came to USA, I was introduced to the products stuffed with down or body feathers. They are supposedly better insulators giving three times warmth per ounce of synthetics, which means lighter and a warmer product. Quite excited with the concept, I never thought where did these feathers come from? and do I want to support the industry that harvested them?

Just a few days back, I saw this picture and since then, I have been quite disturbed.

Some birds are live plucked, some are plucked after they are killed and some live plucked many times before they are killed. So yes, their story of production is quite disturbing as any other animal sourced product.

 Warmth is essential to our lives. But using our fellow animals for our own benefit is not right. We have gained the intellect to create alternatives that are ethical and cruelty free like synthetic down, down alternative, polyester fill and high tech fabrics like Thinsulate.

I am now determined to make my household and clothing feather free. And going forward, if any new animal commodity excites me, I will first learn how they are raised and treated in farms and factories.

These expensive bi- products are very profitable, better insulators, but surely not worth anyone's life.