Aanya: I love Mummy because...

Morning conversation one fine day,

Puneet: Aanya, do you love Mummy?
Aanya: Yes
Puneet: Give three reasons why you love her?
Aanya: I like Mummy because...ummm...ummm...ummm...because (pause)
Me: You love Papa?
Aanya: Yes
Me: Why?
Aanya: Because he plays with me (loud and clear)

This conversation made me think, Why wasn't Aanya able to give even a single reason for why she loves me? Is it because whatever I do for her or for my family is--- my job? A job that is unappreciated and easily taken for granted? Or is it because she thinks I do nothing that can be accounted for?
Before negativity could take over, I decided to get going with my daily rituals. Come on, she's just a little girl and I love her for a million of reasons :)

Afternoon conversation the same day,

Aanya: Mumma, I want to hug you. I love you.
Me: Why?
Aanya: because...you cook food, you make delicious breakfast for me, you buy clothes and toys for me, you play with me, you take me to school, you help me brush teeth, take bath, you give me crayons and color with me...
Me: And I ....
Aanya: No, no, let me speak. You make yummy cupcakes for me and my friends with rainbows....

So, going back to our morning conversation, its not that she couldn't give a single reason, its just that, she couldn't decide which three reasons out of so many reasons :)

Its hard to be a Mom...Our constant Complain!

Being a Home maker and a Mom, I have a lot in my plate. Manage money, house, my daughter and while juggling all these things, some balls inevitably goes out of my hands and I start to harbor resentment because he (as in, my husband) doesn’t have to do all of this. Must be nice to just worry about work! Hmmm...

It’s not a competition and I have an awesome, awesome husband. And yet, I know I still have the tendency to take things out on him when I feel overwhelmed. Its so simple to talk about how busy we are as moms and to laugh about the stereotype of the bumbling dad.

But when I stop to think about it, I have to admit that I tend to only focus on everything that I do as a mother and as a wife — and take for granted a lot of what my husband brings to the table as a partner. These are the things I remind myself, that I also know deep down are true:

I know that I’m the one who always cleans the house — but I don’t ever think about how he’s the only one to mow the lawn.
I know that I’m the only one who will notice when we’re running low on food items — but I don’t ever notice when he vacuums the entire house
I know I’m the only one who will remember when Aanya's next check-up is due — but I never think about the fact that he has always shoveled the driveway when it snowed.
I know I’m the only one who cooks and feed Aanya right now, but I also know that no one can make her belly-laugh like my husband can.
I may be the one who is in charge of all picture-taking in our family, but taking us out for an outing is my husband's department.
I may think I’m the only one with aching muscles at the end of the day, but I’m also always the first one to be offered a massage.

So I can’t speak for every wife, of course, but I know that the next time I want to start thinking about how much harder of a lot in life I have as a mother and a wife, I need to stop and consider all that my husband does behind the scenes first.

Because marriage is not a competition.

Why are We so Judge-y about Food...

• I eat multi grain bread, its good for health...

• I don't eat doughnuts, its bad for health...

• I buy organic apples, inorganic ones are not good for health, as they are loaded with pesticides...

• Smoothies with spinach is good for health.. I have it everyday.

• I prefer Olive oil over Vegetable oil, its light and healthy.

Do above statements sound familiar? We make or hear such statements so often these days. And that makes me wonder, Why have we become so judge-y about food? We judge our choices and label foods as 'good' or 'bad', so much that we have started judging ourselves and other people as good or bad depending on what we ate. Take a cupcake, earn an unfriendly glance from your dieting freinds or colleagues. Order a salad and get labeled as 'no fun' because others ordered a burger. Someone who has smoothies with spinach surely must be good and healthy...Why?

Its so rampant these days, many of us have gotten into the habit of making the people in our lives feel guilty about their food choices. Its mostly because of the messages we receive from media and health professionals. We 'should' be eating kale and quinoa and not doughnuts or french fries or onion rings.

I sometimes feel, we have become obsessed with the word 'healthy'. Kids no longer are allowed to eat vanilla cupcakes, it should be made up of whole wheat with added ingredients of carrot or zucchini or nuts. I mean, come on, we don't eat cupcakes everyday...why go against our taste buds and force eating food labelled "healthy"?

There is nothing wrong with making healthy food preferences, but I see, people have become too rigid ( Thanks to media :)) We spend lot of time focusing on what we 'should' eat and beat ourselves up ( with guilt) for consuming that don't fall into that category. Why we have shaming thoughts when we compare our food choices to what others are eating? There is a wealth of merit to eating whole grains, fibres etc but do healthy foods equals healthy person?

It's OK to include foods simply because they taste good and give you pleasure. It's important to recognize that we're human and we all eat sometimes just because of stress or celebration. We're not looking to make that the norm, but it's not something to feel guilty about either.