Cosmetic Surgery...A bothering trend among Teenagers.

Image credit: Nowtoon.com

 
I always think that I won't judge other parents or a person for the choices he/she makes in life. But it doesn't happen. Some of their choices affect us as a society and I am forced to express my opinion on it. Yes, forced by my conscious mind who just fails to comprehend some of the ways people live.

The Kardashian family is always in news. And honestly I DON'T like anything about them, each single of them. But they are known worldwide as glamorous beauties and so it's natural for many girls to look up to them and emulate them in many ways and unfortunately one of them is enhancing appearance by plastic surgery. Recently, I read that Kylie Jenner who is just 17 years old, got work done on her lips and that's something she wanted to do. Seriously? That's something one wants to do? To have a puffy pouted lips? And then create a trend of pouted lips among teenagers? According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, more than 100,000 boys and girls, age 18 and under, underwent cosmetic procedures in 2014. It's really sad to know people can misuse technology to this extent. It's even more sad that teenagers don't have the maturity to understand the potential risks of such treatments.

From what I understand is that Cosmetic Surgery is appropriate for people who have something very specific bothering them. For eg, A girl with large breasts that's causing her chronic pain, or someone with crooked nose causing breathing difficulty. And not for someone who just tries to silence her inner voice that the lips she has is not good naturally, or her breasts are tiny or the ears are large.  Those reasons according to me are inappropriate.

We need to create awareness among teens that emulating beauty of celebrities is not always the right thing do and we can choose not to buy it. It’s important to widen our children’s concept of what beauty is and that ‘fixing’ the outside does not often change the insides. It's not a quick fix to a social problem.

You know what the problem is, People these days can't discover themselves anymore. Because we live in a world crazed by physical attraction. People can spend any amount on cosmetic surgeries that promise a perfect body/feature. We need to teach our kids, that we can be truly happy if we accept who we are, how lovely we are, rather than crave a different image.

Read: The Girl on the Train

Off late, my appetite for reading has increased tenfold. Clearly I have turned into a bookie. I love reading and especially the feel of an old fashioned paper books in my hands. That being said, I do appreciate the ease of E-readers and I too read on my kindle at times, esp when I can't find a particular book in my local library and can barely wait for them to arrange. 

Beginning of this year, I made a resolution to read atleast 20 books (of all genre) this year. While reading "The Girl on the Train" by Paula Hawkins, it suddenly occurred to me, why not talk about good books on the blog. Everyone needs a good recommendation. Right?

So, today I talk about "The Girl on the Train". A total nail biter. This novel is perfectly paced, from its arresting beginning to its twist ending; it's not an easy book to put down.Very cleverly written. 

A story about three women whose lives interlink tragically; Alcoholic Rachel, Complicated Megan and Anna, the new love of Rachel's ex-Tom. 
Rachel is the main narrator of this novel and is obsessed with Megan and her husband as they represent to her the perfect relationship which she once had. She doesn't know them, but watches them everyday through the windows of a train she takes each morning and evening to commute to and from London. One day, Megan goes missing and Rachel finds herself unable to stay away and gets involved in the investigation....

It's a great vacation read. Perfect for summers. I seriously recommend this book.

Fearless Progress

Earlier this month, after dropping my 4 year old daughter at school playground, I went inside the class to put her bag into her cubby. And while passing by the playground, I saw her playing with her friends, so I stopped at the door and couldn't resist from watching her for a few minutes. I enjoy observing her when she doesn't know I am watching. It's the best way to learn things about her and her personality that I usually don't get a chance to see. When I am around, she's a little more cautious trying new things and knows I'll be there to offer a helping hand. And when I am not around or when she's with her friends, I sense that she tries to dig a little deeper and isn't afraid to try new things.

As I was peeking through the door, I saw my little girl hanging on the metal monkey bar and trying to move ahead one bar at a time. She could do two bar and while gathering all her energy to move to the next, she fell down. She got up and raced back to do it again. She did this same thing four five times and then cheerfully ran towards the tire swing. Wow! I was awestruck. I honestly didn't know she suddenly had so much strength in her hands and courage in her heart to do the monkey bars.

And then, a few days back, I saw few rashes on her palm. Yes, that was obviously from doing monkey bars again and again. I asked her not to do the bars for sometime, until the rashes are cured. And she replied " Then how will I learn? You know Mumma, Practise makes Progress"...Well, Thank you, Sweetheart for this amazing lesson. I smiled.

And guess what! She can do all the Monkey bars now. She glides through them truly like a monkey. Nothing could stop her from learning the skill. Not the fall, Not the rashes, NOTHING! And the best part is She is Proud of Herself. And. So. Am. I. 

I enjoy nothing more that observing my children when they don’t know I am watching. It’s the best way to learn things about them and their personalities that I usually don’t get a chance to see. - See more at: http://www.lindleypless.com/#sthash.A2a3L5e0.dpuf

I enjoy nothing more that observing my children when they don’t know I am watching. It’s the best way to learn things about them and their personalities that I usually don’t get a chance to see. - See more at: http://www.lindleypless.com/#sthash.A2a3L5e0.dpuf

I enjoy nothing more that observing my children when they don’t know I am watching. It’s the best way to learn things about them and their personalities that I usually don’t get a chance to see. - See more at: http://www.lindleypless.com/#sthash.A2a3L5e0.dpuf

How Aanya's Art Changed Over Time...Part 2

In one of my earlier post (Link: Zero-Four: How Aanya's Art Changed Over Time), I posted some of Aanya's artwork from Age 0 to Age 4 and saw how both writing and art gradually changed over time and how it's becoming more controlled and complex as she's growing.

One thing I know, Each child is different and they all develop at different speeds and different ways. After all, it's not a competition. However, when it comes to Art, there are some clear stages that all kids pass through and it's quite exciting to follow those stages, like what I have been doing, and enjoy some wonderful artwork they create over the years.

So, continuing from where I left last, At age 4.5 years, Aanya uses her imagination to draw anything that is in her mind at that time of drawing. She makes pictures of things that are "known to her", rather than "as seen", so there is less perspective or scale involved.

That's 'Frozen' princesses in a spiky castle. 

That's Sea Gorilla

That's a boy holding a balloon

A Fox going to Bed

That's a happy butterfly flying near a happy flower

To encourage her thought process, I sometimes give her a theme like "Draw something that you saw at school today", "Draw something that you read about", "Draw an animal"....A recent example would be our Botanical Garden trip and I asked her to draw whatever she saw there. And this is what is drew...

Interesting, right? Now, in order to encourage her skills, besides doing all 4 that I mentioned in my last blog, I have added 3 more.

1. Me time: Being a single child, it's quite difficult to keep her entertained or busy all the time. So, after she comes back from school, I give a half an hour of Me time to her and to myself, where both of us do something on our own. Either read book or draw, in separate rooms.

2. Wall Artwork: One entire wall of her room is devoted to her artwork. Just a single wall, and not the entire house where she can glue pictures here and there. And only those pictures make up to the art wall that are good. And who will decide if the picture is good? Ofcourse Me. So she knows, she has to work hard in order for her work to be displayed.

3. Capacity Building: I believe in capacity building. From time to time, I teach her to draw things. Like how to draw a house, a bird, a butterfly, dog...

So, there we are. More on the artwork subject will come as she grows. But in the meantime, try looking out for some of the art and writing milestones your kids pass on the way and treasure them.

Please do share with us, how you encourage your child to creativity?

Life with a Scientist: An insight into a Scientist's world.

Image: LEGO

Scientists are strange. I can say that confidently, because I am lucky enough to be living with a scientist for a few years now. I have many times stared at him and wondered what exactly goes in his head and wondered does he ever perceive things like a normal person. One thing I have understood, if not more, that scientists are analytical people, very detail oriented and absolutely straight forward.

My husband has been a scientist for 5 years now (Yes! May 2010 was the year he earned his Doctorate). And just to honor him for these super 5 scientific years, let me take you into a scientist's world....

1. They see the world through scientific lenses. 

Just as I see the world through a creative lens,  scientists see through scientific lenses, always wondering how things work and sometimes (if not most of the times) looking for ways to improve whatever they are looking at. The language they use to describe things, learning some of their language will be helpful in translating their 'science' words to simple english.

      2. They are always thinking.

Usually the job doesn't end when the work day is over. Obviously! inspiration, solution or a brilliant idea can all come at any time of the day and in any situation. It's like having a notebook in the head where they always take notes or work out solutions to a problem. If they are caught biting their nails, looking constantly at something, consider they are writing something on that notebook.

Another side effect of always thinking is, you are not sure if they are listening to you or processing a data. Or when they talk to you, sometimes you are not sure if they are actually talking to you or thinking aloud.

Wait, it doesn't end here. When you go out somewhere, and if your scientist partner is driving, your responsibility as a co- pilot becomes double. They know where they are going, but they don't know where they are going. They can see a red light, but they can't see a red light as if their mind processor is taking time to judge the real color of the light.

     3. They are tough.

Most of them know that their paper will probably not be published at the first go. But they don't give up. They learn the lesson and move on to the next plan or modify the original plan.

     4. They give complicated answers to simple questions.

Scientists deal in complexity. And so, simplicity tends to be elusive. It's like asking him ''what time it is and he'll tell you how to build a watch''. You would often find yourself getting frustrated at this, because they would never give a simple answer. But always remember! to them there is no simple answer. So, be patient, they'll eventually get to the answer you are looking for.

     5. They sometimes have difficult time making decisions.

Scientists are always hungry for data. They seem to believe if they don't have enough data for a good decision, they don't decide. For eg. A scientist was searching for an office table to set up his home office. Most of the people will check a few websites, window shop a few stores and they'll have enough to make a choice. But to that scientist, he had to get a stack of office furniture brochures and a spreadsheet to compare prices of all the tables he was interested in. He was just trying to ensure making the absolute best choice.

Scientists are nice people trying to unlock the secrets of the universe. It's sometimes difficult for them to transition from data driven scientist to a normal human, especially when they are working on complex issues. And I can guarantee, if you are close to a scientist you'll have an honest companion to travel the roads of life with.

Story of Motherhood: A Sparrow and her four Babies.

Many of you must have followed the pictures that I posted on Facebook a few days back. It was the day when these four little sparrows hatched out from the eggs. Honestly, I wouldn't have allowed the bird's nest in my porch, but unfortunately before I spotted the nest, the eggs were already laid and I had no option but to watch the birds grow and wait until they leave their nest. Quite interestingly, these nests are made in the corner, away from the predator's eye. No wonder, I failed to notice it. From what I have read, it's made by the worker/male birds and is a way to attract the female bird. Better the nest, more chances of gaining female attention. Smart, Isn't it?

So, yes, intially I was little upset about the whole nest thing. The birds were making the porch quite dirty. Plus there were other potential nest makers who hovered around to make another one close to it. I had to keep an eye before they got successful yet again. Yes, sadly I was super uncooperative to them.

But, during this entire process, I got a chance to closely observe the relationship between the mother, father and the baby birds. That was really interesting. I realized, Parents and especially Mothers, be it of an animal, bird or human, are all the same. They have the same motive. Providing love, safety, growth, security, provision, nurturing, satisfaction and compassion to their offspring. The mother sparrow was always bustling for her food, foraging for her nests, and gathering for her young. Every 15-30 min she would come to feed them, everyday for 11 days, until they were old enough to leave the nest and be on the ground, making their first bold steps away from home. During this growing up process, it appeared, one of them had a delayed development as the rest three flew away leaving one behind. Puneet and I assumed that the mother sparrow had abandoned this fourth one and soon it would die. Little did we know, the mother kept on providing this one for 2 additional days, when ultimately it flew. It made us so happy. This is Motherhood. Taking care of all the offspring irrespective of how fast and slow each one grows. The love for all remains the same. The motive for all remains the same.

Day 1

Day 7

 

Day 11, last feed by the mother to three of her fledgelings. One was left behind for 2 additional days.

No matter the spot, no matter the gift, no matter the day… let’s honor mothers from all walks of life -and all sides of nature- for the love they give, the nurturing they offer and for encouraging us to fly when our own wings were so small and unsure! 

Cheers to all Mothers out there! Happy Mother's day to you all! Have an enjoyable weekend. A special shout out to my mother and my mother-in-law. I love you both.

A Little Girl and Her Wardrobe (Drama)...

Photo credit: Pottery Barn Kids Dress Up Tower

When a woman finds out she's having a baby girl, she envisions a wardrobe full of pretty dresses, bows and sandals. Enters into a dream world where she would dress up her daughter like her own personal baby doll and in real world she does manage to do that for the first three years of her life. And then one day: Boom!! With no warning, the baby girl suddenly has an opinion. An opinion that usually involves a full pant with monster t-shirt, or a superhero t shirt.

"You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts", rightly said by Khalil Gibran. Also, you can't pick out their clothes once they decide pink skirt with flower t shirt aren't the style statement they want to make.

Everyday, I take out 2 wardrobe options for Aanya and look at Puneet as if I am going in for a battle. He looks back at me as if he wants to tell me I am the bravest woman he'd ever met. Most of the days, with some changes Aanya will wear one of them. But then, there are days when all my choices are dismissed with bold: NOT ANY OF THESE. She tells me " Mumma, I don't like all these everytime". So, I give up. And ask her to go look in the closet and pick one outfit for herself. I am done with these everyday tiffs and it doesn't matter to me whatever she chooses to wear. That's untrue actually. I sure want her to wear certain outfits which look girly. Our mornings were filled with wardrobe drama and I needed to come up with a better solution.

Oh! I did come up with one. I asked Aanya recently to pick out her own clothes the night before. And if she's unable to decide, then she will have to wear whatever I picked out with no argument. And guess what! our new system isn't much less painful. It just takes place at 7 PM, instead of 8 AM...Boo hoo hoo.

It makes me sad at times thinking that Aanya is just 4. When I think of how many years of this we have ahead of us, it makes me want her school to have a uniform. Just like how my school was when I was young. And we haven't reached the age where she's conscious of brands. I can see those years will be horrendous...a treasure actually.

What I am realizing slowly, that even if its important to me that Aanya look cute, it's not about me.
In life, it doesn't really matter. Yes, the clothes have to be appropriate but if Aanya wants to look like superhero or a monster then it's not worth the fight. I don't want to spend these years battling over stupid princess dress, or two ponytails or simply that t shirts doesn't match with the shorts.
I want to spend these years with a focus on shaping Aanya's heart, not her closet. I want her to be the best version of who God has created her to be. I want her to be kind, loving, gentle and enjoying every morning and the day that follows. I want her to know it is who she is inside that makes her unique and not the Disney dress.

P.S: Mothers of boys, you sure are lucky here! I remember doing outfit shopping for kids (sans kids) with my sister-in-law (who has 2 boys) and what confidently she shopped without giving a second thought. I, on the other hand barely shopped. Yes, barely.

A Little Color Inspiration...

Looking for color inspiration? You are not alone. I do it all the time. Though, following color trends every season is not my style, I do however, like to do little cosmetic changes every now and then, that transforms the space or rather give it a new life. I love bold and bright colors all round the year. Pink( as in fuschia), lime, orange, blue and red are surely among them.
So, today morning, I was in Lowes and stopped to admire a painting whose colors comprised of shades of peacock blue, when I saw a magazine that caught my attention- "COLOR made easy"

And as I was turning the pages, I liked how just a flower vase and flowers can transform any space. Neutral colored space with bright flowers. I managed to take a few pictures from the old fashioned cellphone that I carry (Ha! Ha!) and clearly I loved this current issue of COLOR made easy.

What beautiful combination of Lime, Fuscia and Yellow

Lime, Fuscia and Purple. The blue artwork behind looks amazing!

Combination of Sky Blue and Magenta

Turquoise flower vase and Magenta flowers

So, if you see something like these in my home, you know where I got inspired from....
Have a great week ahead! Goodnight everyone!

Potty Training an infant or a young toddler: My approach...

 Aanya was completely diaper free by 18 months. She was poop trained by the time she was a year old and pee trained by the time she was18 months old. It often surprises parents when I say this. Her teachers at daycare were amazed when I sent her there without a diaper/s. Infact, just yesterday someone asked me how I trained her. So here it is- my approach to potty training, some simple beliefs, and how I think you can potty train your young child too.

I started training her, the moment she started sitting all by herself, which was by 6-7 months. I bought an infant potty chair and made her sit on it for sometime everyday during morning hours. I would sit in front of her and read her a book or talked to her or played something, while she sat there watching me. It worked. Soon she learnt to go potty first thing in the morning and I rarely changed a poopy diaper beyond 7 months of age.

Some of my beliefs for the process were/are:

1. If kids can signal hunger, they can signal wanting to go potty too: Kids cry when they are hungry and we train them to ask for food as they grow up. I strongly believe it is the same with potty training. When the child is too young to go to the bathroom by himself or herself, we have to watch for the signals and take them to the bathroom. And in this process, patience is an important virtue.
2. Bodies have a rhythm: We eat at regular intervals and we go bathroom at regular intervals. If we cultivate these rhythms, it becomes a healthy habit.
3. Be ready: We should be okay with rushing our child to the potty when we see that little pressure cringe on his or her face, even if we are at a friend’s place or in a mall or anywhere. Infact, be ready at the middle of the night too.

How we trained Aanya:

1. Understood her rhythm and made the start: Aanya soiled her diaper twice a day, usually at the same time and the moment she started sitting by herself- that was when I started. Just before her expected time of pooping, I would make her sit on her potty and talked to her. Before I knew it, she would poop. It was not instant, it took a couple of days, but the point is, it happened. The feel of no diaper and potty chair is important. 
2. Cheer in excitement: I always made a big deal whenever she pooped or peed in her potty, like clapping, cheering, hugging. It made her excited too. She began to associate her action to happy outcome. Even today, I appreciate her when she uses potty.
3. Noticed the signs: Poop signals are hard to miss in infants. Their faces crunch up. The moment I saw this sign, I would rush her to potty. These off schedule potty needs were rare, esp after  her morning and evening rhythm was set.
4. Diaper free bottoms worked: Not sure why we delayed in this, but when Aanya turned 17 months old and we were to shift to a new location where we had rented a carpeted house. Soiling a carpet scared me and I decided to peep train her before we shift. One weekend we left her diaper free. Realised, she had never sensed her pee, so it was important to have a few accidents, the feeling of wetness would quickly pee train her. And It Did. Soon after 2 accidents she was ready. We taught her a pee pee dance to convey to us whenever she wanted to go potty. She really enjoyed that dance. And very soon, by 18 months, she would rush to her potty and pull down pajamas all by herself.
5. Night time effort: Got her to potty, before nap or bedtime. She was a milk baby and she absolutely had to have her milk before she went to bed. So, I used to take her to potty around 11:30PM again, she would pee there while still asleep and would have a complete night with no accidents after that.

So, I would say, Potty training does work out in infant and young toddlers. We don't need to wait for 2-3 years to see if they are ready. They are ready even before we realise it. Just a little effort and much patience. Timing matters. Before they start to walk, make them sit on potty, else to make them sit would be a bigger task :)

I would love to hear what worked out for you, if you trained your infant. And share if you think someone would benefit from this piece of information.