Photo credit: Pottery Barn Kids Dress Up Tower |
When a woman finds out she's having a baby girl, she envisions a wardrobe full of pretty dresses, bows and sandals. Enters into a dream world where she would dress up her daughter like her own personal baby doll and in real world she does manage to do that for the first three years of her life. And then one day: Boom!! With no warning, the baby girl suddenly has an opinion. An opinion that usually involves a full pant with monster t-shirt, or a superhero t shirt.
"You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts", rightly said by Khalil Gibran. Also, you can't pick out their clothes once they decide pink skirt with flower t shirt aren't the style statement they want to make.
Everyday, I take out 2 wardrobe options for Aanya and look at Puneet as if I am going in for a battle. He looks back at me as if he wants to tell me I am the bravest woman he'd ever met. Most of the days, with some changes Aanya will wear one of them. But then, there are days when all my choices are dismissed with bold: NOT ANY OF THESE. She tells me " Mumma, I don't like all these everytime". So, I give up. And ask her to go look in the closet and pick one outfit for herself. I am done with these everyday tiffs and it doesn't matter to me whatever she chooses to wear. That's untrue actually. I sure want her to wear certain outfits which look girly. Our mornings were filled with wardrobe drama and I needed to come up with a better solution.
Oh! I did come up with one. I asked Aanya recently to pick out her own clothes the night before. And if she's unable to decide, then she will have to wear whatever I picked out with no argument. And guess what! our new system isn't much less painful. It just takes place at 7 PM, instead of 8 AM...Boo hoo hoo.
It makes me sad at times thinking that Aanya is just 4. When I think of how many years of this we have ahead of us, it makes me want her school to have a uniform. Just like how my school was when I was young. And we haven't reached the age where she's conscious of brands. I can see those years will be horrendous...a treasure actually.
What I am realizing slowly, that even if its important to me that Aanya look cute, it's not about me.
In life, it doesn't really matter. Yes, the clothes have to be appropriate but if Aanya wants to look like superhero or a monster then it's not worth the fight. I don't want to spend these years battling over stupid princess dress, or two ponytails or simply that t shirts doesn't match with the shorts.
I want to spend these years with a focus on shaping Aanya's heart, not her closet. I want her to be the best version of who God has created her to be. I want her to be kind, loving, gentle and enjoying every morning and the day that follows. I want her to know it is who she is inside that makes her unique and not the Disney dress.
P.S: Mothers of boys, you sure are lucky here! I remember doing outfit shopping for kids (sans kids) with my sister-in-law (who has 2 boys) and what confidently she shopped without giving a second thought. I, on the other hand barely shopped. Yes, barely.
This post came right after my cribbing for not being able to shop for pretty dresses as I have boys so I guess..you made me feel better☺.Like Ananya..my younger one too fussed over what to wear.He ends up changing atleast 3 times in a day. It's a struggle to make him wear night clothes as he likes to be dressed to party a.ll the time 😉. No matter what I give him to wear..he doesn't seem to agree and even if he wears that reluctantly, I see him in a different set of clothing as soon as I step out of his sight..lol!I guess it's a battle I will never win.
ReplyDeleteHaha! I read you post and it makes me smile. The grass is always greener on the other side. Trust me, dressing your girl the way you envisioned is a myth...:)
DeleteDitto here, Richa! So much drama goes around when we have to head for any outing or party. Thankfully, in India we have uniform concept right from Kindergarten days. Here, we have decided on days for Asmi's choice attire and mommy's choice for after school activities. The day Asmi was born, i felt delighted that i will dress her up like a princess and play with Barbie but you won't believe Asmi does not own any Barbie till date. She wants to follow her dad who is always in Polos & Blue denim with sneakers.
ReplyDeleteRicha, I read all your blogs and must say that "You are wonderful"!
Nidhi Mantri
Yes, Aanya too doesn't own any doll till date. She is into superheros. Thankfully, 'Frozen' has done some magic to her and she is crazy about Elsa and Anna now. And Thank you for liking my blogposts. That gives me a lot of encouragement.
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