6 Things a Married Woman is Always Thinking....

The other day, I read a blog post shared by a friend; the writer misses her parents. And then just yesterday another friend posted a lunchbox contest; her children feel she's a good cook. School teacher asked my daughter what I like to do, she replied; My mom likes to wear dresses.

As I was preparing breakfast today, I was thinking what is it I always think about? Well, of course there are so many things to think about BUT what is it that occupies my mind most of the time. Missing our parents, cooking or getting dressed...to name a few....I made a list and came up with these top 6 things. Husbands can treat this as a guide to their wives mind :)

• What goes in Tiffin? And what's for dinner tonight? The #1 thing in a woman's mind is that, she is always thinking of others before herself. She constantly thinks about food, but not out of hunger. She is always thinking about feeding her family.  Even if she is not preparing a meal, she is thinking about what the next meal will be and how healthy can she make. It's almost like in her mind is a running a grocery list and the question, "How can I make broccoli taste good?" 

• Cleaning. Wouldn't it be nice to have a robot maid, who would clean up every little mess and keep us organized? Yeah, right. Unfortunately, it's just a dream. An unfulfilling dream. So, if you find her thinking about something during dinner, she is thinking about the million things that needs to be cleaned: laundry, dishes, sink...the list goes on and on, and she's probably making a mental checklist while others are thinking about a second helping of that vegetable rice.

• Her Looks. Yes, a woman worries about how she looks. Totally. We are actually sometimes too critical about our looks: we can't help thinking about strands of gray hair, wrinkles on our face or added pounds around our waist. So, please make sure you tell her she is beautiful. It helps. A lot.

• To keep her husband happy. We think that a lot. Wives want their husbands to be happy. And we constantly think about how to make that happen. We'll cook their favorite food, even though they are not our favorites. We will shop for them. We'll try to help them with their work...

•  Leave a mark on the world. When we get a quiet moment alone, chances are we are thinking about how we can leave our mark on the world.  We want to make a difference, whether it is through our work, volunteering, creating something amazing, or just showing the world that we have something unique to offer. So, Tell her she can and she will. 

• Her Parents. After marriage, she has added responsibilities and she thinks about her parents, how they maneuvered those responsibilities with such an ease. She misses them every day of her life. Their absence in her life is a void that cannot be filled even with all the love she gets from her family. She understands them so much more now.

And there is a 7th one too, if you have kids

• Are the kids OK? Yes. How can I be a better mom? Who needs to be where? What time? Our kids consume our thoughts day, and even night.  If we seem preoccupied or stressed out, it may be the overwhelming responsibility we feel toward children. Empathy and a listening ear would be good here....:)

Alright ladies, if you want to understand your man, here is a link to similar blogpost... Enjoy!!

Beautiful Ad Campaigns...

Times have changed. The way people think, is changing. The brands and their ad campaigns are changing. Usually people, including me, just mute or skip the ads that play before the YouTube videos. It's very rare that any commercial make us think about our self. But times are changing and I have noticed this change.
Brands like Dove, Pantene and Always have started emotive advertising campaigns, where they have shown Women in a better light, a stronger light, a beautiful light. Through their campaign they remind us, we are beautiful, strong, we have dreams to fulfill, we don't always need to be sorry and doing something 'like a girl' is a GOOD thing. We must be who we are. They are so inspiring and I appreciate them for their message that made me stop and think.

THINK BIG AND SHINE STRONG - PANTENE

LIKE A GIRL- ALWAYS

Of all these beautiful commercials, I can relate to this one more. I wrote a blog post last year when this commercial just came out. It reminds us to be who we are and doesn't matter what others say.

NOT SORRY- PANTENE

A MAN'S BOSS, A WOMAN'S BOSSY- PANTENE

YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU THINK- DOVE

And my favorite is this one. It's simply Wow. What a beautiful reminder that Others see the beauty within us which we fail to see our self sometimes.  Its a reminder that...

1. The imperfections we see in ourselves are not obvious to others and that our biggest insecurity may be something no one has ever noticed.
2. It's not just about how we look, it's about the impression we make and attitude we exude which shape a person's opinion of both our inner and outer beauty. Remarks such as "she had a spark in her eyes" is not just physical beauty. It has lot to do with personality as well.
3. We focus on the negative things we notice in ourselves, like double chin, dark eye circles or crocked nose while we are more likely to see the good in others. We need to see the good in ourselves as well as others.
4. We should learn to recognize and acknowledge ourselves as the beautiful person that we are. It's very likely that we've never fully grasped or even come close to understanding just how beautiful we are, both internally and externally.

What is your opinion on these campaigns? Let's chat.

2 weeks just Me and Aanya (my 4yo): Challenges Faced...

Being a Parent is tough. And being a Single Parent is tougher. I have high respect for single parents and I know the challenges they face every single day of their lives. But do I understand those challenges? Probably not. I got the taste of raising my 4 yo child single-handedly for 2 weeks when my husband had gone to India. Yes, he travels a lot, but 2 weeks overseas was a long time.

So, what are the challenges that I faced in his absence:

1. I had to play with Aanya all the time. Keeping her constructively occupied was too challenging.
2. As much as I limit her screen time, during these 2 weeks there was less limitation. 
3. I ate zucchini for almost 3 days continuously. Yes, cooking for a single person is boring and how much less you cook, it's ample for a few days. 
4. Unfortunately those 2 weeks were super hot with temperature soaring above 95F, outdoor activities were too less. In short, we were mostly banging our heads indoors.
5. The house, that I always try to keep clean and organized was in chaos.
6. The refrigerator was full of little little boxes of leftovers.
7. Though my girl was such a good girl, I lost my patience a number of times.
8. The chores that he does, I had to do it. As in, doing vacuum cleaning and bathroom cleaning.  
9. After Aanya would go off to sleep, sitting alone, quietly, no one to talk to, made life dull. The biggest pro of marriage is, you have a partner to talk to and listen to. These 2 weeks, I was just Into my world of thoughts ;-)
10. And finally, probably the biggest one, Aanya developed pink eye and taking care of a child's infected eye alone is a nightmare. 

One thing I understood, raising a child ALONE is a difficult job. Did I learn anything from this experience? Yes.

1. It’s easy to lose your cool when you have to be “on” all the time. Don’t yell, because it’s not healthy for the child and you’ll regret it afterward. 
2. After one chaotic morning, I realised the only thing that has to be done in the morning is feed Aanya and myself a good breakfast and get a shower. No one is keeping a score of unmade beds or dirty dishes but me.
3. Always be prepared. I never leave the house without a water bottle and a snack. I learnt it's good to carry crayons, coloring books or little games in your purse. It was upto only me to entertain my child while we waited to be seated for dinner in a restaurant.  
4. Plan play dates, activities and supplies for the activities well in advance. So that when your partner goes away on a business trip, thinking part is already done, only execution part remains.

Painting in Process (by Aanya)

Aanya created four canvas paintings, size 11"x14" each...all by Acrylic Paints. I gave her ideas along the way and taught her a few techniques. This was in continuation to her other artwork (here is the link) which she and I did a few days back. Only this time, it was just her signature. You can see her creative progression in the little video we made.

Me: Aanya, this time you did everything, so what are you going to write at the bottom.

Aanya: Ummm...I can write "Aanya but NOT mummy"  

Me: LOL..No, you should just write "Aanya"

Aanya: Just Aanya? Yayyyy!!

 

Laugh

Love

Live

Light

Full paintings shown in the video above.

As Aanya grows older, I would like to teach her paint for a cause. To create something for a good cause. To create something for someone else. Nothing brings so much joy than doing something for others. I hope I can pass on this thought onto her. For now, I think we'll just keep painting and see where it goes....

One Positive Response....

When we were working on the lawn of our house after we first moved in, we were greeted by a very friendly neighbor. He got his lawn mower and started mowing our lawn. He did it a couple of times until we bought ours and even lent us his edger and trimmer without our asking. Yes, we have some very nice neighbors. But that's not what this post is about. Each time I see him and ask how he is, he  responds in the most enthusiastic way "I am fantastic, thanks", and it always put me in a good mood to see him. And somehow, he is always the first person to greet us "Hello neighbors!", he shouts from his garage.

This makes me wonder, a lot of times our response to how are you doing is something like "hanging in there" or in Hindi we say "bus, chal raha hai". Sure we all are busy in our lives and dealing with everyday stress, but now I realise it's not always necessary to hint at that. There is a quote from Mindy Kaling's book, Is everyone hanging out without me, that says

“I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.” 

The same neighbor, who broke his leg once and then his arm, would still maintain the same cheerfulness and response. And his one positive response has such a profound impact on another person's (I am sure) life. Come to think of it, simple positive responses steers people away from the usual complaints of busy-ness. If someone is happy and carefree, the other person is less likely to add bad news or negative feelings to a conversation. Right?

So start practice saying, "I am Super", "I am fantastic", "Couldn't be better" and see the difference....

Have a wonderful weekend....with much positivity!

Painting by Aanya: Creative Way...

Summer vacation has started; which means abundant free time for Aanya. Last week we worked on a large canvas painting, which was mostly done by Aanya. I just gave her ideas and tools along the way, teaching her how to use different techniques and tried to make it as simple as possible. She is just 4.5 years old and the idea was to simply have fun. It was a learning process for me as well. We worked on building up of layers and using many different colors.

The tools we used were:
Sponge
Stencils and
Bubble wrap.

The paint we used was:
Acrylic
Its little tricky to paint with Acrylic and if you get inspired to do a canvas art with your little child, I would suggest to either do it outdoors or do it with Water colors and Aqua crayons. The child will have freedom to express his way and you won't have to worry about spoiling the walls or clothes.

And now, the Art that we created....

The layering process that we followed was:

1. Sponging: I gave her a circular sponge fixed on a popsicle stick and lots of colors, she would dip her sponge into the color and tap it onto the canvas.

2. Pouring Paint: I gave her a paint (of her choice) in a cup, which she poured onto the canvas and dripped it in all directions...

3. Stencils: I fixed a stencil (with cello tape) on the canvas and asked her to dab paint. Now this was little tricky. Did not happen the way I would have wanted, but that's fine. I was anyway not looking for perfection.

4. Bubble wrap: I gave her the bubble wrap and she started popping out the bubble....(Haha!)and then I had to give her another. I asked her to paint the bubble side of the wrap and then transfer the paint onto the canvas

5. And finally, Signature with Sharpie: Now that's really important.....:)

I have few more techniques bubbling in my mind and hopefully will create another artwork with Aanya soon. Till then, Enjoy!

"Look at you...You look so pretty in that dress"

When you meet a little girl, say a 5 year old, of a friend for the first time, you look at her long hair, big eyes and the pretty dress she's wearing and you squeal " You are so cute, you look so pretty in that princess gown."....Right? We all do that. Little girls are always so cute. It's hard to restrain ourselves from our first impulse which is to tell them how cute/ pretty/ beautiful they are. It's our culture's standard talking to a little girl. Giving her a compliment right in the beginning would boost up her self esteem.

But that's something that has started to worry me. A lot of girls under 12, I see often, wear makeup regularly, they would rather win America's Next Top Model, than aim for a Noble prize. Girls want to look hot (Honestly, I hate to call a girl hot), than smart. Cosmetic surgery is up on rise and so many teenagers are opting for cosmetic procedures to enhance their appearance. Looking all this, breaks my heart.
Praising girls for their appearance and that, it is the first thing you notice makes them feel that looks are more important than anything else. And they think, they have to look good all the time, which is quite not possible. So what are we missing here? A meaningful life being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

Don't you think, we should change the way we talk to girls? Instead of remarking her looks, why not remark on her insights, or strengths or smarts? I believe that would boost her self pride to a much larger extent. Next time, when I will meet a little girl, I will try not to compliment her looks first, but use the sentences like these....

"Nice to meet you, XXX"
"What are you reading these days, I love books, Do you?"
"What's your favorite book"
"Do you love Art?, What have you been drawing"
"What do you like or dislike"

I will try to oppose the culture that sends wrong messages to our girls and would try to value her brain more. I know that will not change our beauty industry, movie and shows that degrade women or our celebrity obsessed culture. But I will try to change a girl's perspective even if its for a few moments. I will try to generate a conversation that respects her brain and not her beauty....
I will try to change the way we talk to girls....

Just 2 Ingredient Popsicle...

Summer means lots of Ice creams, Smoothies, Juices and POPSICLES. One afternoon I was shopping and was all tempted to buy a box of popsicles. In fact I had put that box in my cart and was standing at the cash counter when my inner voice screamed "What are you doing? Do you have any idea how much sugar is in it?", I replied "I know, there is much sugar but that's fine. We are not going to eat that a lot". To this my inner voice laughed, "Really?" and I ended up NOT buying that box. Too bad. Why does this healthy eating ghost hover us all the time?

The same evening, Aanya asked me if I can make Popsicle for her. I said I don't know how to make it. "Then check the recipe on your laptop", she replied. I did not check but called her in the kitchen to do an experiment. And here's what we did...

1. Squeezed out juice of 2 oranges and half filled the popsicle mold with the orange juice
2. Put it in the freezer for about 30 min
3. In a blender, blended a few pieces of watermelon and filled the rest half of the popsicle moldwith watermelon juice.
4. Put it in the freezer overnight.

The result.... A super colorful, super yummy and a super happy face!!

Making Popsicle at home is definitely a better idea. Please folks, Do let me know a couple of more tried and tested simple recipes....

And....Have a great week ahead!